英语笑话一：
Last night I   had a dream of you chasing a pig with a knife in your hand. The pig suddenly knelt and pleaded: Don't you remember that you and me were born by the same mother. Why you treat me so cruelly?
昨晚我做了个梦，梦见你手提菜刀气喘吁吁在追头猪。那头猪却突然跪地求侥说：本是同根生，相煎何太急！
英语笑话二：
A soldier was practicing parachuting for the first time. He asked his officer timidly:"What if the     parachute could not open?" Officer:"You'll be brave enough to land first."
某兵首次练习跳伞，胆怯地问军官：“如果跳伞时伞打不开怎么办？”军官：“你将英勇地第一个落地！”
英语笑话三：
I think of your smile when getting up, feeling your smell when washing my face, in need of you before bed. I realy can't live without you--my dearest, nightstool！
起床时想到你的微笑，洗脸时嗅到你的味道，上床前你是我的需要。真的不能离开你，我亲爱的---马桶！