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【ZZ好文】临终病人最后悔的5件事(一名护士告诉你)

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一名护士告诉你:临终病人最后悔的5件事
Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed
August 21, 2010


1楼2011-09-30 21:13回复
    By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
    Bronnie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人
    -----------------------------------------------
    1. 我希望当初我有勇气过自己真正想要的生活,而不是别人希望我过的生活。
    这是所有后悔的事中最常听到的。
    心理学上有个理论,较之那些我们做过的事,人们后悔的往往是那些没做的事。所以当人们在生命尽头往回看时,往往会发现有好多梦想应该实现,却没有实现。你的生活方式、你的工作、你的感情、你的伴侣,其实我们多少人过着的是别人希望你过的生活,而不是自己真正想要的生活——又可能,一直以来你把别人希望你过的生活当作是你想要的生活。
    1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
    This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
    It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


    2楼2011-09-30 21:15
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      3. 我希望当初我能有勇气表达我的感受。
      太多的人压抑自己的感受与想法,只是为了“天下太平”,不与别人产生矛盾。渐渐他们就成了中庸之辈,无法成为他们可以成为的自己。其实,有很多疾病与长期压抑愤怒与消极情绪有关。
      也许当你直言不讳,你会得罪某些人。但可能从此以后因为你的中肯,你们不打不相识;又或者翻脸,正好让你摆脱这种需要你压抑自己感受才能维持的累人关系。不管哪一种结果,你都是赢家,不是吗?
      3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
      Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
      We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


      4楼2011-09-30 21:17
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        4. 我希望当初我能和朋友保持联系。
        老朋友的好,我们总要到自己有事了的时候才会想到。
        多少人因为自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾经闪亮的友情。
        很多人临终前终于放下钱、放下权,却放不下心中的情感与牵挂。
        朋友也好,爱人也罢,其实生命最后的日子里,他们才是我们最深的惦念。
        4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
        Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
        It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.


        5楼2011-09-30 21:20
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          5. 我希望当初我能让自己活得开心点。
          (推荐看原文)
          5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
          This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
          When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
          Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


          6楼2011-09-30 21:26
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            补序:
            REGRETS OF THE DYING
            For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
            People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
            When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:


            7楼2011-09-30 21:28
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              即将出书:Regrets of the Dying is soon to be a full-length book, full of personal and inspiring stories about Bronnie's years with dying people. Please join the mailing list, on the contact page, to be advised of its release.
              Coming soon in 2011.


              11楼2011-09-30 21:34
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                回复11楼:
                Steve Jobs: “记住你即将死去”是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言。它帮我指明了生命中重要的选择。因为几乎所有的事情,包括荣誉、骄傲、所有对难堪和失败的恐惧,在死亡面前都会消失。我看到的是留下的真正重要的东西。有时候思考太多你将会失去某些东西,“记住你即将死去”是我知道避免这些的最好办法。


                12楼2011-10-06 12:03
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                  在巨富中死去对我并没有意义,而临睡前能告诉自己我做了多么美妙的事情,这才是最重要的。


                  13楼2011-10-06 12:04
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                    回复2楼:
                    回答1.
                    你的时间有限,所以不要为别人而活。不要被教条所限,不要活在别人的观念里。不要让别人的意见左右自己内心的声音。最重要的是,勇敢的去追随自己的心灵和直觉,只有自己的心灵和直觉才知道你自己的真实想法,其他一切都是次要。


                    14楼2011-10-06 12:29
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