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【求鉴定】跟风翻译了乔老爷子的情书,总感觉不妥,求高手鉴定。

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自己总不知道哪里不妥,却总觉得不妥,真心求指教~
原文:Wedidn' t know much about each other twenty years ago.We were guided by our intuition;youswept me off my feet.It was snowing when we got married at the Ahwahnee.Years passed,kids came,good times,hard times,but never bad times.Our love and respect has endured and grown.We' ve been through so much together and here we are right back where we started 20yearsa-go—older,wiser—withwrinkles on our faces and hearts.Wenow know many of life' s joys,sufferings,secrets and wonders and we' re stillhere together.My feet have never returned to the groud.
译文;二十年匆匆,
忆当年,
一见钟情,皑皑白雪见证我们的婚姻;
到如今,
子女绕膝,酸甜苦辣茁壮我们的爱情。
二十年匆匆,
忆当年,
山盟海誓,青春年华编织我们的浪漫;
到如今,
两鬓斑白,眼角皱纹妆点我们的梦境。
二十年匆匆,
从懵懵懂懂,到看淡人间,
有过荆棘密布的路上蹒跚,
也在欢愉畅快的河中嬉戏,
心心相连,我们一如当初。


IP属地:江苏1楼2011-10-27 10:35回复
    哎~放着好几天了~~


    IP属地:江苏7楼2011-10-29 10:24
    回复
      ...


      IP属地:江苏30楼2011-10-31 18:09
      回复
        挺好呀~~多美呢~
        但是,个人观点
        可能,感觉这一句改下,会比较好吧~,
        感觉这句翻得有点别扭~~呵呵~
        “而悲伤与痛苦却从未出现。”
        纯属个人观点~~


        IP属地:江苏43楼2011-11-06 00:24
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          客气~~你大几了?


          IP属地:江苏45楼2011-11-06 00:32
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            当然不是啦~
            你是英语专业么?


            IP属地:江苏48楼2011-11-06 00:53
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              呵呵~略涨你一点~大三啦~英语的


              IP属地:江苏50楼2011-11-07 13:36
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                哈哈哈~客气了~你们是快要考四级了么?


                IP属地:江苏52楼2011-11-07 23:42
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