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top26高富帅：“你女朋友还好吗？”屌丝：“挺好的，只是偶尔会漏气。”
卤煮表示漏气不用怕，去买根黄瓜，然后镂空了，嘿嘿，高端大气上档次

top25“到我家只是坐一会”“我只是想挨近一点我不会碰你”“我只亲你一下不用舌头”“我脱你衣服只想看看不会碰你”“我们只是抱着我不动”“我只在门口碰一碰我不进去”“我进去我不动”“我动一动我不射”“我不射在里面”“这孩子不是我的

top24儿子为什么我一到家就看见你总对着电脑桌面发呆呢？

手机:18898503468求聊天

top22小米有个隐藏功能：当你想要集中精力玩手机的时候它就会重启

帝吧最新活动通知（修订版） 时间:2014.7.20晚8点整 地点:EXO吧（4级才能发）EXO王道吧 （无限制） 内容:爆 注意事项: 1，发帖格式最好统一。 统一格式：我爱女神，日逼捣噶 2，多挖坟。越久越好。 3，多准备小号，封了继续。 4，吧务可以批量删帖

top21央视记者：“请问，您的孩子怎么来的？”大妈：“垃圾桶里捡的。”央视记者：“哈哈，大妈你真幽默。”大妈：“呵呵

top50，像你这样，文章写的这么好，又懂音乐，长得好看，柔情似水，风度翩翩，如风中柳絮般飘然又有礼貌的好孩子，说实话，我一个可以打十个！

top20二十五年前，在深圳的某教室内，老师怒斥学生：“抄抄抄，你就知道抄袭作业，将来到了社会上你还敢这么抄?”男孩一句话都没说。二十五年后，在企鹅新品发布会上，某老总讲出了这个故事。

今天35度，明天36度，后天39度...大家出门注意翻面儿，注意火候，带上孜然，辣椒面儿，千万别烤胡了。我是大肉串，我为自己带盐！

楼上你为何这么吊

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desperado,why don't you come to your senses?
you been out ridin'fences for so long now
oh,you're a hard one ,but i know that you've got your reasons
these things that are pleasin'you will hurt you somehow
don't you draw the queen of diamonds ,boy
she'll beat you if she's able
you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
now it seems to me some fine things
have been laid upon your table
but you only want the ones that you can't get
desperado,oh,you ain't gettin'no younger
your pain and your hunger they're drivin'you home
and freedom,oh freedom well that's just some people talkin'
you're prisoners walkin'through this world all alone
don't you feet get clod in the wintertime
the sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
it's hard to tell the night time from the day
you're losin'all your highs and lows
ain't it funny how the feelin'goes away
desperado,why don't you come to your senses
come down from your fences, open the gate
it may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you