Oh fucking god I'm nobody. Ofc nobody will sincerely put in efforts. Ofc I'm not that special. Ofc many girls are better options than I am. Why fucking care? You'll be fine on your own. You should be strong, not a crying baby. Are you done being vulnerable and silly? Who fucking cares about you?! Fucking don't get attached!

I overdosed on caffeine thanks to the large Americano and Latte yesterday. I wasn't able to sleep until 3 a.m. and woke up at about 7. I was hoping I could hear from you and make up for the sleeping hours I lost, but obviously that didn't happen. I had this weird dream where a bunch of people from my old school and I were on this spinning property. It was uncomfortable and still I was making flattering jokes to get on somebody's good side. I woke up when I couldn't stand the dizziness.I started to think that I am writing to a wrong address this whole time, that there's an axe-man behind this email address reading this and laughing at me. I started to believe that I won't get a reply. I started to recall one of Shakespeare's sonnets and realized after hundreds of years what he wrote was still the truth. It sounds crazy, even to me, as it's barely 30 hrs. But you know me, I always put down a mattress for myself in advance, just in case of disappointment. Yeah, so bad, I don't think this one can be sent anymore.