换好了衣服 梳好了头发 打开了电脑
我再次坐在这里 决定写下些东西
这次 我本来并不准备留下回忆
但是这些天的浮浮沉沉让我难以承受
宣泄也好 纪念也罢
我还是决定为爱留些痕迹
直到这一切变的可有可无
虽然我不知道那一天何时到来
亦或是说 究竟会不会来

你在的时候会让我们幸福的事情
在你不在了之后知道 会成为无底深渊般的痛苦
虽然是件很小很小的事情 但是足以让我受伤
我不知道是现实太狠还是我太弱
但是都无所谓 我还活着
你总说 我是个做之前害怕做不到 一做却总能做好的人
以前你每次这么说 都会给我很大鼓励
所以很多事 我都做到了 这一次也不例外
我做到了 做到放手了 做到离开了
我还是你说的那个我 只是 没有只是
没有只是

心一跳 爱就开始煎熬 每一分 每一秒
火在烧 烧成灰有多好 叫思念 不要吵
我相信我已经快要 快要把你忘掉 跟寂寞 再和好
我相信我已经快要 是真的快要
快要可以微笑 去面对 下一个 拥抱
知道吗 我在听这首歌 因为这首歌真的很适合现在我觉得我在不停的挑战我心脏的负荷有人问我如此不舍为何要放手
我只能微笑
有时候看着好像有两种选择 其实只有一种
我只是做了正确的选择
虽然这选择捏碎了自己的心脏
但至少多年后 再想起这些过往
我不会后悔

曾经的幸福 是对现在的讽刺
我不追逐那些诺言真真假假
只问那一声声我爱你
可曾有一句是真的
如果是假的你是如何做到那么好
如果是真的你又是如何把刀插向我的心脏

没关系 有多痛苦
我已经选择了承受
我不会躲避解释异议否认我接受我承受
所有所有的伤害和难过我都接受
所有所有的痛苦与煎熬我都承受
被带走的我失去的一切
生活所带给我让我经历着的一切
这让我如此不堪的一切
我统统都接受 我认命
我会认 我能忍
我不会死 心脏从不会疼到停跳
我如此坚强
这点伤害又能那我怎样
我很好
天一亮 化好妆 我还能笑

Rootless
听这首歌时心突然疼了起来
一阵难过茫然慌
不知道究竟是因为什么
明明之前还半点没想起你
甚至都快了忘了你的存在
可却用针扎进我心脏
就像是在刻意不让我遗忘
这种感觉让我不知所措
是该放任还是屏息
是该随之还是克制
你会在哪里曾经的回忆又和我有什么关系
是叫沉默还是叫沉寂是叫平静还是叫无息
搞不清弄不懂亦或是说不愿意
干涸的眼泪不会流还是心酸在酝酿新的起点
生活本不该如此复杂人心却是叛徒感情是帮凶
愿明天这些情感带着回忆和你失踪而我一如往常

不用再问自己跟我有没有关系
我也已经知道跟我没有关系
我决定什么都不说
眼神却总在拆穿我
已经很久没有看我们的合照
很久没有听你的声音 很久没有看你写给我信息
我以为我已不再想你
却发现原来是我害怕想你
我如此恐惧
恐惧这么久的努力全部作废
恐惧回到那个逃不出的深渊
You never should've loved me
You never should've touched me
You never should've told me you loved me
and you would never leave me.
'Cause everything that you would do
It made me fall in love with you

不用再问自己跟我有没有关系
我也已经知道跟我没有关系
我决定什么都不说
眼神却总在拆穿我
已经很久没有看我们的合照
很久没有听你的声音 很久没有看你写给我信息
我以为我已不再想你
却发现原来是我害怕想你
我如此恐惧
恐惧这么久的努力全部作废
恐惧回到那个逃不出的深渊
You never should've loved me
You never should've touched me
You never should've told me you loved me
and you would never leave me.
'Cause everything that you would do
It made me fall in love with you
Until you love and you make that mistake
Now I can't take you back if I want it too

You were all that I wanted
I fell in love with all of your heart and your soul
From that morning couldn't imagine
You went from hurting me you're mistreated in your love
I should have loved
Rivers of tear drops
This short pains in my heart
This was the way that you loved
You never should have loved me
You never should have loved me
You never should have touched me
You never should have
Never should have told me you loved me and you would never leave me.
'Cause everything that you would do
It made me fall in love with you
Until your love and your man my mistake
Now I can't take you back if I want it too
(Ohh ohh ohh ohh...)
Balled up, laying in my bed
Fortracing through my head
How did we start our love end up here
You said you loved me and I believed you
Seems like you don't even mean what you see.
Rivers of tear drops,
This short pains in my heart
This was the way that you loved
You never should have loved me
You never should have loved me
You never should have touched me
You never should have, never should have told me you loved me and you would never leave me.
'Cause everything that you would do
It made me fall in love with you
Until your love and your man my mistake
Now I can't take you back if I want it too
You were all that I wanted
I fell in love with you 'cause you loved me and I thought that you were ready
I thought that we were gonna be a family
Keep hold my love to give
To someone else
You never should have loved me
You never should have touched me
You never should have
Never should have told me you loved me and you would never leave me.
'Cause everything that you would do
It made me fall in love with you
Until your love and your man my mistake
Now I can't take you back if I want it too
Never Should Have - Ashanti

那个每晚陪我聊到这一刻的人

可以想也可以不想

可以想也可以不想
控制权又回到了我手里
化好装穿梭在校园里
享受生活给我带来的每一个惊喜
深爱阴天 也不会讨厌阳光
可以温暖也能淡然
没想过也不需要每个人都喜欢我
只想做自己喜欢的自己

是最爱的人啊

时间是良药 带走所有温柔 抚平所有伤口
我已经开始渐渐习惯和淡忘
哪怕偶尔想起你 想起曾经
也能质问自己 跟你有没有关系
然后不再去想 再也不想 去生活 去微笑
我知道有一天我会连最后一丝思念也失去
甚至可能久久回忆都想不起你
写到这儿我已经忘了主题
也许只是用最后的温度拼凑痕迹
讨论有没有意义早已没有意义
因为这一切一开始就没有意义 但是谁又在意
现在我只想钻进温暖的被窝里安心地睡去