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求指点,刚翻译了coldplay的一首歌。

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二楼,意译上有什么错误吗?


1楼2015-08-03 15:35回复
    《Every teardrop is a waterfall》
    泪如清流,恒流我心
    ---coldplay
    I turn the music up, I got my records on
    我将唱片放上,我让乐声激昂
    I shut the world outside until the lights come on
    我身处世界之外,直到新生的光明来临
    Maybe the streets alight, maybe the trees are gone
    也许有街灯暖人,也许会树木凋零
    But I feel my heart start beating to my favourite song
    但仍能感到乐章在血液中律动
    And all the kids they dance, all the kids all night
    上帝的孩子们都彻夜舞蹈
    Until Monday morning feels another life
    直到新生的第一缕光芒从东方照来
    I turn the music up, I'm on a roll this time
    我奏起音乐,即将达到达到白云之端
    And heaven is in sight
    目之所及,即是天堂
    I turn the music up, I got my records on
    我将唱片放上,我让乐声激昂
    From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
    从残垣之下传来叛逆之歌
    Don't want to see another generation drop
    我不愿再看到一代人的陨落
    I'd rather be a comma than a full stop
    但又不愿将这一缓慢的过程变成永恒
    Maybe I'm in the black, maybe I'm on my knees
    也许我会坠入黑暗,也许我会跪地向天神祈祷
    Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes
    也许我会被忽略在两个秋千之间
    But my heart is beating and my pulses start
    但我的心脏会一直跳动,音乐的热血一开始沸腾
    Cathedrals in my heart
    古老的大教堂永存我心
    As we saw this light
    当我们看见新生的光芒
    I swear you emerge blinking into
    我发誓你会闪烁着泪珠告诉我
    To tell me it's alright
    一切安好
    As we soar walls
    当打破我们之间的隔阂
    Every siren is a symphony
    你会发现塞壬*也是美的音乐
    And every tear's a waterfall
    并且泪水都将成为清流
    Is a waterfall
    拂过心灵
    *注释:塞任出自希腊神话,半人半鸟的女海妖,常用美妙歌声引诱水手,令船触礁沉没


    2楼2015-08-03 15:35
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      人工置顶...


      3楼2015-08-03 15:47
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        感觉没有理解上的问题,就是有些地方翻译的时候你想搞得文艺一点,反而觉得怪怪的


        IP属地:河北来自Android客户端4楼2015-08-03 16:00
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