女儿放学回家，嚼着泡泡糖时，我问她有没有作业，表示好久没有看她写作业了，也不知道掌握了吗。她迟疑了一会儿说语文有一道题，书上的，我趁热打铁帮她取出书，翻到她说的那页，她指给我看这一页她已经做了一题了，还剩一道多音字的题，然后她就乖乖做了！还得意滴说：我的字是不是好了很多？我回答：真的诶，每个字大小差不多，很合适，不像以前大的大小的小了。
写完语文，我又取出她的英语书，老师前几天布置的读书作业，让她读，她也读了，尽管大多数单词她都不认识，可是重要的是她配合了。
昨天老公还在为她不肯写作文生气，多说了她几句，她就气鼓鼓的，我后来劝老公别着急，这孩子说话都说不清楚，组织不好语言，写作文对她来说确实很难啊，我们需要等她慢慢长大。

老同学来我家住了两天，她一年总要来上七八次，是25年的朋友了，她说她感觉到我女儿的变化，情绪比较好，不太捣乱了。我说已经很长时间不强迫她写作业了，朋友说怪不得。
后来聊着聊着突然觉得这样下去会对孩子的学习情况越来越不了解，便决定对女儿说：如果期末考试不及格，说明不写作业不能掌握知识，那就要重新开始写作业，如果都及格了就不会强迫她。

重新找到楼主的文章了.楼主做的真好

昨天晚上要她收拾书包，她要跟我剪刀石头布，这个怪我，因为她总是钻一切空子不去做这件事，我曾经主动跟她玩儿这个，一局定输赢，我输了就要帮她削铅笔。昨天她输了，又开始赖账，要三局两胜，我当时火就腾的上来了，对她的得寸进尺不知见好就收忍无可忍，踢了她一脚，她哭我训斥。真的受够了任何本该她做的事情都来讨价还价步步紧逼的情况了，一方面要她不知满足，一方面是我的无能才造成如今的局面。今早我对她说，她让我想起了渔夫和金鱼的故事，老太婆的贪得无厌最后带来的就是一无所有，我以后再也不会帮她收拾书包了。女儿自然是大声抗议，完全听不进去。她爸爸还要跟她讲道理，只造成她嗓门越来越大，最后俩人都气鼓鼓的。
想起欢乐颂里的一句话：不与傻瓜论短长，我们家这个小傻瓜的教育实在是让我头疼到极点。

看过《分心不是我的错》，但是很快又陷入与孩子的拉锯战中，所以要经常回顾，提醒我的孩子有神经异常现象，不要用常人的标准去要求他....

原文链接：How to Be a Good Unschooler
作者：Pam Sorooshian
Foreword by Sandra Dodd: Pam Sorooshian has written something perfectly stunning, and stunningly perfect. She didn’t send a title for it. I’ve called it “How to be a good unschooler,” but it could be “How to be a good parent,” or “How to be a good person.” It’s a summary of some of the best unschooling knowledge of the past dozen and more years. It will help improve families’ lives for years to come.
1.Give your love generously and criticism sparingly. Be your children’s partner. Support them and respect them. Never belittle them or their interests, no matter how superficial, unimportant, or even misguided their interests may seem to you. Be a guide, not a dictator. Shine a light ahead for them, and lend them a hand, but don’t drag or push them. You WILL sometimes despair when your vision of what your child ought to be bangs up against the reality that they are their own person. But that same reality can also give you great joy if you learn not to cling to your own preconceived notions and expectations.
2. Homeschooled children who grow up in a stimulating and enriched environment surrounded by family and friends who are generally interested and interesting, will learn all kinds of things and repeatedly surprise you with what they know. If they are supported in following their own passions, they will build strengths upon strengths and excel in their own ways whether that is academic, artistic, athletic, interpersonal, or whichever direction that particular child develops. One thing leads to another. A passion for playing in the dirt at six can become a passion for protecting the natural environment at 16 and a career as a forest ranger as an adult. You just never ever know where those childhood interests will eventually lead. Be careful not to squash them; instead, nurture them.
3. Bring the world to your children and your children to the world. Revel in what brings you together as a family. Watch tv and movies and listen to music and the radio. Laugh together, cry together, be shocked together. Analyze and critique and think together about what you experience. Notice what your child loves and offer more of it, not less. What IS it about particular shows that engage your child—build on that. Don’t operate out of fear. Think for yourself and about your own real child. Don’t be swayed by pseudostudies done on school children.
4. Surround your child with text of all kinds and he/she will learn to read. Read to them, read in front of them, help them, don’t push them. Children allowed to learn on their own timetable do learn to read at widely divergent times—there is NO right time for all children. Some learn to read at three years old and others at 12 or even older. It doesn’t matter. Children who are not yet reading are STILL learning—support their learning in their own way. Pushing children to try to learn to read before they are developmentally ready is probably a major cause of long-term antipathy toward reading, at best, and reading disabilities, at worst.
5. It doesn’t matter when something is learned. It is perfectly all right for a person to learn all about dinosaurs when they are 40 years old, they don’t have to learn it when they are nine. It is perfectly all right to learn to do long division at 16 years old, they do not have to learn that at nine, either. It does not get more difficult to learn most things later; it gets easier.
6. Don’t worry about how fast or slow they are learning. Don’t test them to see if they are “up to speed.” If you nurture them in a supportive environment, your children will grow and learn at their own speed, and you can trust in that process. They are like seeds planted in good earth, watered and fertilized. You don’t keep digging up the seeds to see if the roots are growing—that disrupts the natural growing process. Trust your children in the same way you trust seeds to sprout and seedlings to develop into strong and healthy plants.

7. Think about what is REALLY important and keep that always in the forefront of your interactions with your children. What values do you hope to pass on to them? You can’t “pass on” something you don’t exemplify yourself. Treat them the way you want them to treat others. Do you want respect? Be respectful. Do you want responsibility from them? Be responsible. Think of how you look to them, from their perspective. Do you order them around? Is that respectful? Do you say, “I’ll be just a minute” and then take 20 more minutes talking to a friend while the children wait? Is that responsible? Focus more on your own behavior than on theirs. It’ll pay off bigger.
8. Let kids learn. Don’t protect them or control them so much that they don’t get needed experience. But, don’t use the excuse of “natural consequences” to teach them a lesson. Instead, exemplify kindness and consideration. If you see a toy left lying in the driveway, don’t leave it there to be run over, pick it up and set it aside because that is the kind and considerate thing to do and because kindness and consideration are values you want to pass on to your kids. Natural consequences will happen, they are inevitable. But it isn’t “natural” anymore if you could have prevented it, but chose not to do so.
9. We can’t always fix everything for our kids or save them from every hurt. It can be a delicate balancing act—when should we intervene, when should we stay out of the way? Empathy goes a long long way and may often be all your child needs or wants. Be available to offer more, but let your child be your guide. Maybe your child wants guidance, ideas, support, or intervention. Maybe not. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is distraction.
10. Be sensitive to your child’s interest level. Don’t push activities that your child isn’t interested in pursuing. Don’t let YOUR interests dictate your child’s opportunities. If your child wants a pet, be realistic and don’t demand promises that the child will take sole care for it. Plan to care for it yourself when the interest wanes. Do it cheerfully. Model the joy of caring for animals. Model kindness and helpfulness. Help a child by organizing their toys so they are easy to care for. Plan to care for them yourself much of the time, but invite your child’s help in ways that are appealing. If YOU act like you hate organizing and cleaning, why would your child want to do it? Always openly enjoy the results of caring for your possessions—take note of the extra space to play in, the ease of finding things you want, how nice it is to reach into a cupboard and find clean dishes. Enjoy housework together and don’t make it a battle.
11. Don’t pass on your own fears and hates about learning anything. If you hate or fear math, keep it to yourself. Act like it is the most fun thing in the world. Cuddle up and do math in the same way you cuddle up and read together. Play games, make it fun. If you can’t keep your own negativity at bay, at least try to do no harm by staying out of it.
12. Don’t try to “make kids think.” They WILL think, you don’t have to make them. Don’t use every opportunity to force them to learn something. They WILL learn something at every opportunity, you don’t have to force it. Don’t answer a question by telling them to “look it up” or by asking them another question. If you know the answer, give it. If you don’t, then HELP them find it. Speculating about an answer often leads to a good conversation. If your child stops seeing you as helpful when they have questions, they’ll stop coming to you with their questions. Is that what you really want?
13. When you offer a child choices, be sure they are real choices. Offer them choices as often as you can. Try to limit the “have to’s” as much as you can. Frequently ask yourself, “Is this really a “have to” situation or can we find some choices here?”

昨天女儿还是带回家一个好消息的，她的书法老师很喜欢她，希望她加入书法社团，据女儿说通常有300多人报名却只招35人，尽管我想不明白硬笔字写得很烂的孩子怎么软笔书法还不错（我看过，是挺好的），但这绝对是件好事。另外课外的素描班老师换了以后，孩子的素描基本没有进步，她自己也不想学了，我决定退了下学期的课程，直接加入校内的书法社团。她自己准备再报个校内的魔术课和手工课，刚好一星期三天的课后一小时就定下来了。
孩子的兴趣都是跳跃的、变化的，家长当然希望孩子能在一个兴趣上做深做好，但是需要尊重孩子的选择，即使只是暂时的兴趣也是孩子探索世界的一个方式，在探索过程中相信她会找到真正所爱。如同刚转载的英文文章里说：一个人在40岁时才学习恐龙知识，16岁才学习长除法都没问题，这些知识不是9岁孩子不得不”学的东西。
女儿喜欢学校，老师好，大多数同学也善良，但是靠学校靠作业掌握小学知识考出好成绩对注意力不集中的女儿来说是不现实的，所以我搜索了“在家上学”的一些知识：
在家上学实施过程中，文化知识层面的学习，从阅读开始。很多人质疑在家上学如何能和学校比，学校有各科老师，分门别类。其实在家上学不是家庭学校，在家上学是要还原历史上人的自然学习和成长。在家上学不需要分门别类，划分很多学科。只要抓住一个重点，阅读。所有知识的学习都是可以通过阅读来解决的。这也是最自然的方式。阅读的重要性不用多说，开启书本世界里无穷的奥秘，真是自由的感觉。解决了阅读，儿童自然的求知欲，然后孩子就可以在自学的道路上开始知识的征程。
看来阅读是关键。

楼主，你家孩子英语怎么样？我觉得还是定向培养特长吧。正好你的水平也很高。培养孩子英语特长比我们要简单的多。我听说新西兰移民要求雅思6.5去了新西兰上个一般的大学应该比国内简单很多。混个文凭留在新西兰打打工也是很好混的。孩子自己可以养活自己的。也可以利用英语特长做做翻译都可以。

楼主年轻可以再要一个孩子。虽然并不是说要放弃的意思。但是至少你和老公优秀的基因应该传给下一代。我觉得有点可惜

这是孩子数学老师的微信上的一段话。这是针对正常不听话孩子的。但是老师又怎么能理解多动症孩子呢。

注意力缺陷多动症伴随学习障碍，这是慢性病，依靠几十次训练能治好吗？我深深怀疑。

我家孩子小的时候也做过感统训练，我觉得提高注意力提高学习成绩的效果没有看到，但是孩子的身体协调性精细活动还是有所提高，人家有方法，在家我教了无数遍跳绳的方法，学不会，去了那里两节课下来就会了，所以其实平时多带孩子运动就好，确实是这样的孩子运动都很差

楼主的孩子智商测试120，是韦氏智商测试吗？是正规医院测试的吗？语言和操作各打了多少分？我家才得了85😭

买了张黑板贴贴在孩子书桌旁，把她经常写错的字写在上面，算是提醒吧。因为她从不主动学习，我只好在环境上下功夫，前几天给她打印了份乘法表放在她笔袋里，结果她偷偷团了扔在书包里，她承认是怕同学知道她连乘法表都没背会,她觉得丢脸。真希望她快点儿懂事，今天帮她抄了半天语文学习方法本，好学生发到微信群里，老师要求其他人补的，女儿打死不写，我觉得老师总结的办法挺好，就帮她抄得手酸，女儿说你看我辛苦吧，我哭笑不得，说：如果你把这么多页都抄了，我自然认为你辛苦，可是你只写了几行，辛苦的是妈妈啊！她无话可说了.