He Knew. 他知道
星期五, 六月 26, 2009
Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.
许多年前我和Michael曾有过一次很深入的谈话
I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.
我不记得我们具体谈论的话题但他问起当我父亲去世时的情况
At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."
然后他突然停下了，非常认真地看着我，然后他用极其冷静的语调说：“我想我会和他一样，我们的结局会很相似”
I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.
我很吃惊并试图改变他的想法，但他只是耸耸肩并点点头，他想让我明白，他就是知道
14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.
14年后，我坐在这里看着新闻里播放着救护车停在他家的大门口，大门外挤满了人，医院外也挤满了人，关于我们的这次谈话的回忆，是什麽导致了他的死亡，这些就如洪水般向我袭来，我的泪水也如洪水决堤。
A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.
这是一个他自己已预料到的结局，是那些爱他的人包括我都预料到的结局，但我唯一没有预料到的是当它真的发生的时候却是这样让人撕心裂肺的痛苦
The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
