4.give plenty of positive and respectful responses to their conversation partners.
In general, the various communication styles in Asian cultures (e.g. Chinese and Japanese) would be characterized as “high considerateness”.
Mainstream American conversation style would also be characterized as “high considerateness”, although it differs significantly from the various Asian patterns. There are important regional and ethnic differences in conversation styles within the United States.
1.3 Incorrect Judgments of Character
People from “high considerateness” cultures are often thought to be slower, less intelligent, passive, uninvolved, uninterested in talking and not as responsive while people from “high involvement” cultures are considered loud, chatty, pushy and domineering.
People tend to make judgments such as, “She’s loud, pushy, and domineering,” or “He doesn’t seem interested in talking. He’s very passive and uninvolved.”
Cultural beliefs differ from culture to culture as to whether directness or indirectness is considered positive.
In the mainstream American culture, the ideal form of communication includes being direct rather than indirect. (“Ideal” here means that the culture values this style, although not everyone speaks directly.)
There are several expressions in English that emphasize the importance of being direct: “Get to the point! Don’t beat around the bush! Let’s get down to business!” These sayings all indicate the importance of dealing directly with issues rather than avoiding them.
In Japan, there are at least fifteen ways of saying, “No,” without actually saying the word. Similarly, in Japan, it would be considered rude to say directly, “I disagree with you”, or “You’re wrong”.
One way to determine whether a culture favors a direct or indirect style in communication is to find out how the people in that culture express disagreement or how they say, “No.”
Many Americans believe that “honesty is the best policy”, and their communication style reflects this. Honesty and directness in communication are strongly related.
It is not a surprise, then to find out that cultural groups misjudge each other based on different beliefs about directness and honesty in communication.
An example of a conversation style that contrasts with the American “Ping-Pong” conversation style is formal conversation among the Japanese, which has been compared to bowling.
The Bowling conversation style
Each participant in a conversation waits politely for a turn and knows exactly when the time is right to speak. That is, they know their place in line.
One’s turn depends on status, age, and the relationship to the other person.
When it is time to take a turn, the person bowls carefully. The others watch politely, and do not leave their places in line or take a turn out of order. No one else speaks until the ball has reached the bowling pins.
Answers to questions are carefully thought out, rather than blurted out. In Japanese conversation, long silences are tolerated.
For Americans, even two or three seconds of silence can become uncomfortable. Americans do not like the feeling of “pulling teeth” in conversations.
According to some Japanese, Americans ask too many questions and do not give the other person enough time to formulate a careful answer.


The American, however, is not doing something “wrong” or insensitive on purpose. The Japanese feels that the American is pushy and overly inquisitive because of the difference in cultural conditioning.
To the American, the Japanese speaker appears passive and uninterested in the conversation. The Japanese style takes too long for the average American.
The Japanese person is not doing anything “wrong” and is not less interested in conversation. People have misjudged the other because neither is familiar with their culturally different conversational styles.
Forms of address can be a maze cross-culturally.
How should we address others
in a way to avoid displeasure or offense?
What are the universal rules to follow?
Address systems can be a maze. If, in your culture, you want to call the attention of a stranger—say he is walking in front of you and has dropped something—how would you do it? Will you make distinctions according to gender, age, or status? Or perhaps some other variables? Will you avoid using a title and instead use some other way of calling the person’s attention—simply say “excuse me,” for example?
How would you call the attention of a waiter/waitress in a restaurant? Are the rules the same as with the “stranger on the street” example? How do subordinates and bosses, teachers and students, parents and children, siblings, neighbors, colleagues tend to address each other?
4.1 T/V forms of “you” (“你”/“您”)
The expression of an unequal distribution of power can go beyond the name used to address another person.
In a classic case, Brown and Gilman (1960) studied the use of the pronoun “you” in many European cultures. This pronoun in most languages has a formal form (“vous” in French, “Sie” in German, “usted” in Spanish), and a familiar form ( “tu”, “du”, and “tu” in these three languages); this was also the case in English in the past (“you” and “thou”).
They found that the non-reciprocal use of “you” commonly signaled a difference in power
the formal form was used in the upward direction, and the familiar form was used for downward communication.
the formal form of “you” tends to be used to signal a formal relationship (i.e. doctor-patient, lawyer-client, or work colleagues), while the familiar form signals more intimate relationships (family members or close friends)  
It goes almost without saying that rules like these cause some confusion about what to call people.
For example, a university student may be visiting a counselor for help with study skills. The counselor, who is only a little older than the student, calls her “Susanne” from the first meeting. What does the student call the counselor?
“Ms Green” may seem too formal, given the similarity in age, but “Janet” may be too familiar, given the counselor’s role. If Janet Green does not give any indication of what she wants to be called, the student is likely not to use any name at all. In fact, it is not unusual for people in these sorts of role relationships to go on for months without calling one another by any name, which can make situations such as telephone calls and public meetings rather awkward, to say the least.
4.2 Three intercultural examples of forms of address
4.2.1 A delightful encounter takes place in an ethnic food shop when Sandy, an American in the