You are a man of Bournemouth. You are a man of Newcastle. Thank you, for being one of us.
Thank you for letting me walk into work with a swagger, free of dread. Thank you for letting me take the piss rather than having the piss ripped from me. Thank you for making the professional part of my life a pleasure, knowing I’ll have goals to drool over, blocks to boast about, pressing to admire.
Thank you for letting us release our anxiety, for making other teams shrivel from us. Thank you for letting us travel the country, not with hope but with belief, the certain knowledge that our players will give everything, chase everything, scrap for everything. Thank you for making us clever as well as good, street-smart warriors who can manage a game and see it out. Sam Allardyce was spot on when he called out all that bullshit and said everybody does it, all the big teams, as if Pep Guardiola’s magnificent Manchester City don’t know how to clip an opponent’s heels when it suits them.
Having said that, thank you for the shithousing because it’s fucking brilliant and it’s fucking hilarious.
Thank you for forging this fine team. As I write to you, I can picture the response from elsewhere — “calm down, you’ve not won anything” — but those people don’t appreciate how little we’ve had to cheer and how novel it feels to see your lads put a shift in, enhancing each other. They are a team in the purest sense, greater than the sum of their parts, all in it together.
Some will go, others will replace them, but thank you for building the class of 2022-23 and the memories they will leave, a special, grounded group who, for one more match, are bonded together, welded together, who have lifted Newcastle towards the elite.
The easy thing, the lazy thing, is to say you’ve splurged a fortune, but not compared to plenty of others and what you’ve actually done is take a club at its lowest ebb, bottom of the Premier League, and offered balance to years of under-spending or misspending.