个人观点仅供参考。情节没啥问题,但是描写上,可以看得出来心理描写挺好,但其他描写有点太少了。尤其是表演时的紧张的心态,动作,环境描写太少,我认为这一部分是最关键的。
But when I saw the look of anticipation on the faces of my teacher and my father, I swallowed my anxiety and hesitation and began to play. I struck the drums with power and precision, each stroke capturing the audience's eyes, each vibration seeming to shake the audience's heart, each drop of sweat witnessing my efforts. As the last rhythmic beat fell, cheers and applause covered the stage.
But when I saw the look of anticipation on the faces of my teacher and my father, I swallowed my anxiety and hesitation and began to play. I struck the drums with power and precision, each stroke capturing the audience's eyes, each vibration seeming to shake the audience's heart, each drop of sweat witnessing my efforts. As the last rhythmic beat fell, cheers and applause covered the stage.