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0有一点淡淡的伤感,也许是有点醉了吧。 耳机里唱着歌的女子明明和我一般年纪,却仿佛成熟过我几个世代。 其实也未见得,她仿佛一生未走出的执念,也许正代表了她心底那个永远也无法长大的受过伤的孩子。 人情世故练达就是成熟了么,其实也未必。 我已经分不清那些偶像圈的当红者们,只是在粉丝们撕得不亦乐乎时熟悉了那些名字。果然社交网络时代追星的效率奇高。 工业化流水线中涨起来的我们,多多少少会怀念过去手作的时代,古早味
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0本来是个值得分享的喜讯的 我在空无一人的办公室里雀跃着 兴奋吗?至少不是坏事 可是一切实际问题涌上心头的时候,人也漠然了 还有许许多多细节问题没有解决 即便一切顺利 也不过是意味着有更长的路要挣扎奋斗下去 一念之间,一段一生不会忘怀的缘 要往死路上逼自己啊 置于死地而后生 起码现在,心里有了底 很好 很好么? 好么?
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0真是混蛋啊,这样伤另一个人的心。我这么贱么?或者说每个人都是贱的,在这个生为孤岛的世界上偏要自尊自爱地活下去。贱的很,究竟图些什么呢。一败涂地,心都是空的。没事业的人真是了无生趣。可以抓住的东西太少了,除了自己的喜怒哀乐,一切都是水月镜花。
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1这么多年,你以为已经get over it,但是每当看到别人和ta互动,特别是某个对谁都过分温柔热情的男子,你仍然会嫉妒……这个永远不能让第四个人知道的秘密……
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323岁,借由一系列的机缘巧合,终于体会到“成长”的含义。成长,绝不是是你具备养活自己的种种技能——虽然那也显然是必要的——而是获得内心充盈富足的过程。一颗能自给自足的心,才是立于不败之地的。所谓你自己的平常心,不过竟是没有一天不恐惧于未来,没有一天有过真正的梦想,没有一天做过真正烂漫的孩童,没有一天向别人承认过自己的脆弱,疯狂地哭过喊过尖叫过。你的眼泪,你流给自己的眼泪,多数的时候也是独自一人的时候
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0The reason why I love that game is that it's the only time I can mumble "I'm scared" or "hurt" repeatedly without feeling ashamed or imcompetent. I would whine and seek for comfort and he would hold me tight and rock me and I don't feel like I am pitied. Yes it's childish and pathetic but beautiful. It is part of my fantasy.
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1这世界上会有一个人为了我,不顾一切地为了我,做些什么么?本能地,我不相信这样的人能够存在。所以不曾这样奢求过么?是我要求得太少,还是我希冀得太多?
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2God I'm fucking missing you and I wanna talk to you and I know this kind of clingy is gonna bite me in the asslater. I know I shouldn't get attached. I know I will get hurt. I know it's stupid to actually fall for someone. I know men were deceivers EVER!
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1I felt for this guy. Not the desperate miserable kind, not head over toes, in fact, I don*t think I sexualize him that much. He*s just sort of a close friend. But yeah, never has there been a male (or female for that matter) treating me like that - with a gentle-man like manner, but so much intimate in a way. Was I too cold or does he just regard friendship differently? Anyway it*s hard for me to be close to anyone, but he has been an exempt so far. I don*t even know if it*s good to cling on to this.
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0现在确乎觉得,教育的本质应当是教人如何爱自己,由己及人,而至公益。能否正确定位自己是另一回事。如果十数年的学校生涯,教出一个深觉自己混不可爱的人来,才是极大的悲哀。
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0It*s hard to admit this but I think somehow I*m broken inside. Really
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0I am truly offically the most pathetic person-in-love in human history...
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1一个人的本质是自私的,那么拿再多美好的词藻和优雅的行为掩饰也是无用。
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0Get over it. But I guess I just can't. I am never strong enough to defence myself. I strike back, in the most ungraceful way. My frustration is boiling inside my gut, for all I want is to hurt myself and receive comfort from a soothing voice.
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0我不知道自己为什么如此在乎。也许是知道每个人都在不可避免地将自己的命运交付于他人手上,而众人是混乱而粗心的,哪怕人人已尽力。我们自己也担负着多少责任,又怎可撒手而去。这是人类的劣根,想起也悲哀
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0I don't believe there's a lot of people hate themselves as much as I do. Self-loathing. I don'teven know where it comes from. Oh I do need a shrink...
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0那些年,我们对彼此的好和温存,不逊于Fanfiction上的桥段。
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3突然TMD心情就好差,好吧其实不是突然,是有原因的。可是我不开心,我甚至没有办法找到排解的方法,我没有办法停止自我怀疑和贬低。我每天需要用活下去的勇气和努力告诉自己我是值得的,然后用另一半的时间推翻上述观点。真的TMD很痛很累。TMD一个衣食前途无忧的人怎么可能理解我们的纠结。可是,貌似写出来就好了。解出模型的激动,数据清洗时的趣味,我真的很喜欢这些,可以当真么。
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1我早不对世事或人投入纯真的幻想,尽管行事上还单纯倔强笨拙的要命。有时候相信天真的人能够上天堂,然后就会委屈自己一点。傻得可以嘛,也许。不知道,未来会怎样,就像我不知道呼吸与命运。这一堆阿拉伯数字说明不了什么啊,你是一个特别的孩子,我突然希望有人人认认真真这样告诉我。
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0“哇我太牛B了”,仅仅是一刹那的欣喜,随之袭来的是深刻的伤感。我是优秀的、值得的,虽然看似(曾经)每个人这样说,但是却没有几个人能够说服我。第一次读到Portia深深的自我厌恶,熟悉地如同在阅读我的自己。我的一切不安全感、自卑、自我放逐、风险厌恶,连我自己也不知道从何而来。一路顺遂,却从未放下心里的惴惴不安,日日如履薄冰,蹉跎了年华。为什么想留在欧洲读Master,也是想试着融入那样一种骨子里生出来的从容的生活方
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0我梦见她被谋杀,好多老人聚会,父母...醒来时从未那么清醒她还活着,还能逼着我开会。
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0You learn. Just from the hard way. You know the boundary and protect yourself. You're good then.
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0我tm特想说我800年前就建议您加医务工作那题了好么。。。
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0哀伤和茫然。 看了导师的导师普林斯顿大牛的个人主页,顿时知道我导师的范儿都是跟谁学的了。。。
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1生活总不会一帆风顺的好下去。甚至一个好消息接踵而来的是更多的烦恼
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0坚强地撑过去,相信自己,会顺利的
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0我老板真是逼我期末上进的神器,她一个电话我就立马抓紧学习了。。。
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12nd day of 21 years old. Honestly, sometimes you just wanna stop hurting.
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0有些启蒙,一旦开始,即覆水难收,你即刻陷入一种巨大的茫然的狂喜 。你知道此生最为重要的是阅读和思考,不辍。
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0突然觉得我活的挺精神真TMD是个奇迹。这个BT的生活,我还应当满怀感激。
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0老天爷就是喜欢打一棒子给一甜枣,给一甜枣打一棒子。。。现在我是吃了甜枣不敢笑,挨了棒子不敢哭,一切都诡异得可怕,无定数的可怕
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0Damn, I'm exhausted and confused. Life tends to give you a bump in the head every time it seems better. I just simply tired and wanna quit, quit from everything. I'm pretty sure I caught a cold. God it's so hard, just like last semester.
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0我大约,真的是个非常“小人”的人
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0理解一下做科研的乐趣吧,有成就感的时候是真TMD有成就感,因为之前刷文献的时候是真TMD想挠墙的。
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0I keep asking myself. Why do I fight this battle? I don't know. I push myself to the rear end, even though not sure if I'll survive. But there sure is joy, the thrillof learning something new, the excitement of operating Stata, and finally finally maybe achieve something. I am simple and that is all I want.
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0于是,我不知道自己想要什么,不知道我是谁,不知道前面的路在何方。有那么一刻,我甚至不知道这个世界的存在与否。我知道,也许有一天,一切美丽的泡沫都会破碎,我重归一无所有,然后痛苦地挣扎着牢牢抓住第一双伸过来的手。是的,我就是如此自轻而脆弱,实际又浪漫。也许有病的人是我,一直是我,不能快乐也完全是我的错。再这样下去就该被人认为有心理疾病了。也许我真的需要我的闺蜜。我想趴在她怀里哭,所有我没有说和说不出
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3也许一辈子的秘密是,那一夜,我抿着嘴唇上残余粉底的味道,流着泪,疯狂地骑到麦当劳,刷了一夜的时序。只是一种莫名奇妙的抽搐,都不会痛,可是还是湿了眼眶。
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0我想说天赐我个offer吧,可是我一向不信天,而且但凡我信的时候天一定把我砸的杠杠的。
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0我不知道这个世界为什么急切的逼迫青年成就。有时候,我希望等待岁月将一切酝酿成熟,像Jay,Gibbs或者Ducky.
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0每当一个新的机会来临,你将会幻想、兴奋,然而你还不得不拼命告诉自己,得不到是正常,得到才是惊喜。很多时候,你拼命的压抑和贬低自己,试图不被一次次失望所击垮。
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3Ok,so low EQ I have. I never thought such a simple fact said out loud by the gal I share the bunk with can actually hurt so much. Maybe it is due to the fact that I tried so hard through my life to get it higher. It has never got high enough,I suppose. And I clearly don't have a high IQ. So basically I am screwed.
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0Nobody will save you, protect you from Terror. Terrified, you convince yourself that you're a great person every single day. What kind of terror challenges your belief in yourself that much? Sometimes you think you are lost. PhD or MA won't be an end, just like Undergraduate. What is significant is your choice of life. You just don't want to give in to a "normal" life. Maybe~
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0有时觉得,意识到自己的脆弱简直是个罪过。我只想蜷在ta怀里,斗嘴和傻笑。然而,然而,哪里有你可以依赖一辈子的人呢?可是,可是,我好难受…我觉得自己在消失,和自己努力拼命在做的事情一起。
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0我想起她,还有他。我也有我梦魇。我学会了默默流泪。可是,我是希望被安慰的。有一些感谢,我们永远只会是朋友……
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0I am dreaming. I am dreaming about making out with certain girl. Kiss and taste her lip. She always smells good.
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0I wanna go "home" and I wanna be hold. I don't adore some guy. What can I do?
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2说一件这个世界上你能做好的事,找一个你仍爱你自己的理由
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0我也有了块儿地方了