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【帮忙】小可我写了一篇英文的文文,求检查语法错误……

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CATCH YOUR OWN HAPPINESS
Ashputtel is a orphan. When she losts her parents, a woman take her in. So Ashputtel really thanks that. In fact, she has a big trouble with her new family. They don’t like her. Since she comes this family, she always dusty and dirty.
“Ashputtel! Come here! Make it clean!” Vivi said. She is one of the member in new family.
“oh! Vivi! I call her first! Help me dress up,quickly!”Vivian is angry, “Ashputtel, you are too late!”
“Oh, my dear baby!
I feel uncomfortable, let her care me. Ashputtel, come here,quickly!” Their
mother said.
Always like this,
she likes a tool. She should do most thing every day. She has no time and can’t
relax . Her sisters and mother all know it, and they think it’s good. Though
she work almost whole day, she still love them. Because they take her in. Just
they take her in. She also know they don’t like her, because they aren’t really
relative.
One day, Ashputtel
go to fair to buy some commodity. She always come here and buy something. But today,
Ashputtel is unlucky. A horse almost hit her. Maybe the groom is good at drive.
The horse is stop. But the thing is not end. The person who sit in gharry is
unhappy. Unlucky, the person is prince.
“Today is my
unlucky day.” Ashputtel thought.
“Why are you stand
in road? Don’t you know I am coming?” The prince said. Ashputtel is really
unlucky. Prince is angry today as the king wants choose his wife in a party. He
doesn’t like it, but he can’t be angry with king. In this time, the gharry
stop. This is why prince so angry.
“I’m sorry.” She said.
She always says that. If she do something, she always says sorry first, though
it’s not her mistake.
“You make me
angry. So you need to be punished. En,let me see…”The prince said.
“Prince, can I say
a word?” A knight said.
“Sure. What ?” The
prince asked.
“There is street.”
The knight said.
“Oh, I know it,
this thing is a joke.” The prince said, “ En, the punish is you should go home
with my knight.” Ashputtel is very surprise and a little blush.
“Can I ask you
something, Ashputtel?” the knight said in Ashputtel’s home way.
“what?” Ashputtel
answered. And she still blush.
“Do you like
prince?” The knight said.
“It’s impossible. Why
you ask this question ?” Ashputtel is very surprised.
“En, nothing.” The
knight is also blush,”He is a good person, and very kind. And I love you.”
“You said is
wrong! It’s impossible! He is a bad… Wait! What did you say?”Ashputtel doesn’t
believe her ears.
“I love you ! I always
saw you with covert in street. Maybe you don’t know.” The knight is very blush.
“I love you , too.
But my family…”Ashputtel is worried.
“I can take you
run away, if you want.”
Ashputtel doesn’t
know how to answered. She want live with him, but she is timid.
The knight doesn’t
say anything.
Love will make
people brave. “I’ll do it.” Ashputtel said, ”it’s my answer.”
Ashputtel catch
her happiness. What about you?
The story has a
good end, though it ‘s a little different. The Ashputtel and knight happiness
of life together., or not prince. Oh, you asked me what about prince? I don’t
know. And I also don’t care about him. Knight and Ashputtel are protagonist,
aren’t they?


1楼2013-04-08 01:08回复
    2楼2013-04-08 01:09
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      @KeelyCookies
      @0喵鈴0


      来自Android客户端3楼2013-04-08 01:18
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        It`s my answer吧?楼主的I是小写~


        来自手机贴吧4楼2013-04-08 01:57
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          额,开始应该是过去时,第一个a貌似要改an,第一段最后一句改为 she is always dusty and dirty,第二段,in the family,第三段 you are too late中late改slow,第四段 let her care me中let前加so,5she likes a tool中likes改为seems,. She should do most thing every day中thing加s,6The horse is stop去掉is, The person who sit in gharry is
          unhappy. Unlucky, the person is prince.中 gharry 前加the, prince前加a,7wants choose his wife in a party中want后加to,今天有点急事,等过几天我再看看,主要的毛病没啥,就是冠词和时态


          IP属地:辽宁6楼2013-04-08 06:45
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            英语废路过QUQ


            来自Android客户端7楼2013-04-08 07:03
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              小斯没几门是好的哭死啊


              IP属地:上海来自Android客户端8楼2013-04-08 07:12
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                表示因为看了这文,结果立马睡了……


                IP属地:广东来自手机贴吧9楼2013-04-08 10:14
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                  呵呵。语法还可以。。句子的用法不太适合真的西方化。


                  IP属地:辽宁来自手机贴吧10楼2013-04-08 12:13
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                    Ashputtel is an orphan. When she lost her parents, a woman took her in(adopt). family. They don’t like her. Since she comes this family, she always dusty and dirty.
                    So Ashputtel really thanks for that. In fact, she has a big trouble with her new
                    “Ashputtel! Come here! Make it clean!” Vivi said. She is one of the members in the new family.
                    “oh! Vivi! I call her first! Help me dress up, be quick!”Vivian is angry, “Ashputtel, you are too late (slow)!”
                    “Oh, my dear baby!
                    I feel uncomfortable, let her care for me. Ashputtel, come here, be quick!” Their
                    mother said.
                    Always like this,
                    she likes(seems to be) a tool. She should do most things every day. She has no time and can’t
                    relax . Her sisters and mother all know it, and they think it’s good. Though
                    she work almost a whole day, she still loves them. Because they took her in. Just
                    they took her in. She also know that they don’t like her, because they aren’t really
                    relative.
                    One day, Ashputtel
                    go to fair to buy some commodity. She always comes here and buys something. But(这个...But一般来说应该不会放在句子开头的) today,
                    Ashputtel is unlucky. A horse almost hits her. Maybe the groom is good at driving.
                    The horse stops. But the thing doesn’t come to the end . The person who sits in gharry is
                    unhappy. Unluckily, the person is the prince.
                    “Today is my
                    unlucky day.” Ashputtel thought.
                    “Why are you stand
                    in the road? Don’t you know I am coming?” The prince said. Ashputtel is really
                    unlucky. Prince is angry today as the king wants to choose his wife in a party. He
                    doesn’t like it, but he can’t be angry with king. In this time, the gharry


                    本楼含有高级字体11楼2013-04-08 15:43
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                      stops. This is why prince is so angry.
                      “I’m sorry.” She said.
                      She always says that. If she does something (wrong/something upset the others?), she always says sorry first, though
                      it’s not her mistake.
                      “You make me
                      angry. So you need to be punished. En,let me see…”The prince said.
                      “Prince, can I say
                      a word?” A knight said.
                      “Sure. What ?” The
                      prince asked.
                      “There is street.”
                      The knight said.
                      “Oh, I know it,
                      this thing is a joke.” The prince said, “ En, the punishment is that you should go home
                      with my knight.” Ashputtel is very surprised and a little blushes.
                      “Can I ask you
                      something, Ashputtel?” the knight said in the way to Ashputtel’s home.
                      “what?” Ashputtel
                      answered. And she still blushes.
                      “Do you like
                      prince?” The knight said.
                      “It’s impossible. Why do
                      you ask this question ?” Ashputtel is very surprised.
                      “En, nothing.” The
                      knight also blushes,”He is a good person, and very kind. And I love you.”
                      You said is
                      wrong
                      ! It’s impossible! He is a bad… Wait! What did you say?”Ashputtel doesn’t
                      believe her ears.
                      “I love you ! I always
                      saw you with covert in street
                      . Maybe you don’t know.” The knight blushes.
                      “I love you , too.
                      But my family…”Ashputtel is worried.
                      “I can take you to
                      run away, if you want.”
                      Ashputtel doesn’t
                      know how to answer. She wants to live with him, but she is timid.
                      The knight doesn’t
                      say anything.
                      Love will make
                      people be brave. “I’ll do it.” Ashputtel said, ”it’s my answer.”
                      Ashputtel catches
                      her happiness. What about you?
                      The story has a
                      good end, though it ‘s a little different. The Ashputtel and knight happiness
                      of life together.
                      , or not prince. Oh, you asked me what about the prince? I don’t
                      know. And I also don’t care about him. Knight and Ashputtel are protagonist,
                      aren’t they?
                      红字代表被我改了的地方
                      粗体代表我不明白的地方
                      括号里的只是建议
                      其实我只是略略看过了(你自己再看看,修改吧
                      先不说语法,其实整篇故事的内容有点怪...(?)总觉得前文和后文(?)没什麼关连(请不要怪我直言啊TAT
                      啊总之就是这样了0A0


                      本楼含有高级字体12楼2013-04-08 15:43
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                        表示不是很懂。


                        13楼2013-04-08 16:42
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                          废材强势围观水!


                          来自Android客户端14楼2013-04-08 19:08
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                            看完这篇文后我突然觉得好困哦


                            IP属地:辽宁来自手机贴吧15楼2013-04-08 22:17
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                              英文废路过....


                              来自手机贴吧16楼2013-04-08 22:17
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