linkinwater吧 关注:474贴子:119,592

【OvO】写了首歌,想集众家之长给看看,@BRUCE601

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主要是语法问题


来自iPad1楼2013-12-14 17:23回复
    In that crash(that car hit me)
    The car hit me
    Car hit me*3


    来自iPad2楼2013-12-14 17:24
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      Every nights I see that boy
      Who in red with his toy
      Feels like a homeless puppy
      Waiting for a loving stranger
      Come pick it up and get it out of here


      来自iPad4楼2013-12-14 17:24
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        Oh that boy he has a ring
        I know the ring has a tedious story
        Maybe some Mr.right gave it to his mommy
        In a so-called ceremony , wedding


        来自iPad5楼2013-12-14 17:25
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          Mr.right named the boy Tobby
          Then left his wife and the newborn baby
          Little boy asked his mom where was his daddy
          That poor woman said he had gone to heaven


          来自iPad6楼2013-12-14 17:25
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            Lies are always endless
            Innocent boy thought he was happy
            Till he known the death of his mommy
            He cried a second time in his long long life


            来自iPad7楼2013-12-14 17:26
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              掠过一段,开始第二段的。(不知副歌是什么不敢乱用?
              I haven't meet that boy for fortnight
              But I hear people talking about him day and night
              "Don't you know that poor boy dead
              In last Sunday night?"


              来自iPad10楼2013-12-14 17:28
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                For Just a while I was dizzy
                And stopped though I know the road is busy
                Then I see the driver of that car running to me
                A Young boy who wearing red T-shirt


                来自iPad11楼2013-12-14 17:29
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                  People screaming like HE IS BLEEDING
                  Anyway I don't want they talk bout my life
                  Guess what! I see the boy's toy
                  And his hand wearing a ring


                  来自iPad12楼2013-12-14 17:30
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                    Pls don't say in front of my body
                    Say that you never know me but now mourning
                    That little piece of shit Memory of me will gone
                    To the world you could never know


                    来自iPad13楼2013-12-14 17:30
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                      Hey Don't you tell me I've got a halo
                      Never do I want to be an angle
                      You'd better cut my wings to stop their tremble
                      Then Tobby let us go and get your father's dirty soul


                      来自iPad14楼2013-12-14 17:31
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                        接下来就是穿插的唱的部分
                        How'd you know?
                        These are all about the worst of the world.
                        How'd you know?
                        A happy-and-rich-all-the-time guy like you.
                        How'd you know?
                        Unless in that crash that car hit you.
                        How'd you know?
                        Unless that car hit you.


                        来自iPad15楼2013-12-14 17:31
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                          特地拆分一下便于找错,因为我自己写的错自己改不来,有好多地方肯定有超白痴的错,还请斧正。


                          来自iPad16楼2013-12-14 17:33
                          回复
                            @BRUCE601


                            来自iPad18楼2013-12-14 17:36
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                              下载贴吧客户端发语音!
                              我目前的音域好窄而且有点五音不全,凑合一下呗


                              来自iPhone客户端19楼2013-12-14 18:06
                              回复