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It’s snowing over Edinburgh on this16th day of April, 1874. An eerie, freezing cold gridlocks the city. Old people wonder whether this might be the coldest day on earth. The sun seems to have disappeared for good. There’s a biting wind, snowflakes lighter than air.WHITE! WHITE! WHITE! A muffled explosion. This is all we can see. Houses resemble steam engines, as the grey smoke exhaled by their chimneys sparkles inthe steel sky.
1874年4月16号这一天，爱丁堡大雪纷飞。诡异而寒冷刺骨的冰雪席卷了这座城市（阻断了她与外界的交通）。长者们怀疑这也许是最冷的一天了。阳光似乎永远告别了这片土地。狂风呼啸，大雪漫天，视线所至，唯余苍白。从烟囱里冒出的黑色的烟在天空中闪烁着，让这些房屋看起来就像蒸汽引擎一样。
1874年4月16号这一天，爱丁堡大雪纷飞。诡异而寒冷刺骨的冰雪席卷了这座城市（阻断了她与外界的交通）。长者们怀疑这也许是最冷的一天了。阳光似乎永远告别了这片土地。狂风呼啸，大雪漫天，视线所至，唯余苍白。从烟囱里冒出的黑色的烟在天空中闪烁着，让这些房屋看起来就像蒸汽引擎一样。
Dr Madeleine is my first sighting. Her fingers grab my olive-shaped skull – a miniature rugby ball – and then we snuggle up peacefully.
My mother prefers to look away. In any case, her eyelids no longer want to function. ‘Open your eyes! Look at thisminiature snowflake you’ve made!’
玛德琳是我看见的第一个人。她的手指轻抚着我微型橄榄球一样的脑袋，然后我们安详地依偎着。【感觉是小杰克想要抓住玛德琳的手指来吮吸，好温馨呀】
我的母亲似乎更愿看向窗外。她已精疲力尽，以至于睁开眼睛的力气都没了。“快睁开你的眼睛，看看你刚出生的小宝贝。”
My mother prefers to look away. In any case, her eyelids no longer want to function. ‘Open your eyes! Look at thisminiature snowflake you’ve made!’
玛德琳是我看见的第一个人。她的手指轻抚着我微型橄榄球一样的脑袋，然后我们安详地依偎着。【感觉是小杰克想要抓住玛德琳的手指来吮吸，好温馨呀】
我的母亲似乎更愿看向窗外。她已精疲力尽，以至于睁开眼睛的力气都没了。“快睁开你的眼睛，看看你刚出生的小宝贝。”
Madeleine says I look like a white birdwith big feet. My mother replies that if she’s not looking at me, then the lastthing she wants is a description.
‘I don’t want to see, and I don’t want toknow!’
But the doctor seems preoccupied. She keepspalpating my tiny torso. The smile disappears from her face.
‘His heart is very hard. I think it’sfrozen.’
‘Mine too. There’s no need to make afuss.’
‘But his heart really is frozen!’
She shakes me from top to bottom, and Imake the same noise as someone rummaging in a toolbox.
Dr Madeleine busies herself in front of herworktop. My mother waits, sitting on her bed. She’s trembling now and, thistime, it has nothing to do with the cold. She’s like a porcelain doll thatescaped from the toyshop.
Outside, the snow is falling more thickly.Silver ivy climbs over the rooftops. Translucent roses bend towards windows,lighting up the streets. Cats become gargoyles, their claws stuck in thegutter.
玛德琳说我看上去就像是有着双大脚的白色鸟儿。我的母亲说不愿看着我，就连描述也不想听，“我不忍看他，我也不想知道他的一切。”【心碎】
然而玛德琳看上去却忧心忡忡。她一直触诊我微小的身体。突然，她脸上的笑容消失了。
“他的心跳很微弱，我想它已经冻结了。”
“我的心也冻结了，这没什么大惊小怪的。”
“不，他的心是真的冻结了。”
她上下摇晃我，我发出了和她在工具箱里翻找一样的声音。
玛德琳在工作台上忙碌着。我的母亲静静地坐在床上等待着。她忍不住地颤抖，然而，这次却不是因为寒冷，就像是从玩具店逃出来的瓷娃娃一样。
窗外，雪积得更厚了。在月色下泛着银光的常春藤爬向屋顶。半透明的玫瑰弯向窗户，反射着月光照亮了街道。猫儿们此刻如夜行神龙，在角落里摩挲着他们的爪子。（在这里用夜行神龙形容猫，可能是取夜行神龙受诅咒化作石像，也即猫咪的爪子卡在阴沟里动弹不得）
【表面漠不关心，内心却万般牵挂。母亲的反应让我想起了一首音乐 Cara Mia Mddio，这是游戏Portal2的片尾曲】
‘I don’t want to see, and I don’t want toknow!’
But the doctor seems preoccupied. She keepspalpating my tiny torso. The smile disappears from her face.
‘His heart is very hard. I think it’sfrozen.’
‘Mine too. There’s no need to make afuss.’
‘But his heart really is frozen!’
She shakes me from top to bottom, and Imake the same noise as someone rummaging in a toolbox.
Dr Madeleine busies herself in front of herworktop. My mother waits, sitting on her bed. She’s trembling now and, thistime, it has nothing to do with the cold. She’s like a porcelain doll thatescaped from the toyshop.
Outside, the snow is falling more thickly.Silver ivy climbs over the rooftops. Translucent roses bend towards windows,lighting up the streets. Cats become gargoyles, their claws stuck in thegutter.
玛德琳说我看上去就像是有着双大脚的白色鸟儿。我的母亲说不愿看着我，就连描述也不想听，“我不忍看他，我也不想知道他的一切。”【心碎】
然而玛德琳看上去却忧心忡忡。她一直触诊我微小的身体。突然，她脸上的笑容消失了。
“他的心跳很微弱，我想它已经冻结了。”
“我的心也冻结了，这没什么大惊小怪的。”
“不，他的心是真的冻结了。”
她上下摇晃我，我发出了和她在工具箱里翻找一样的声音。
玛德琳在工作台上忙碌着。我的母亲静静地坐在床上等待着。她忍不住地颤抖，然而，这次却不是因为寒冷，就像是从玩具店逃出来的瓷娃娃一样。
窗外，雪积得更厚了。在月色下泛着银光的常春藤爬向屋顶。半透明的玫瑰弯向窗户，反射着月光照亮了街道。猫儿们此刻如夜行神龙，在角落里摩挲着他们的爪子。（在这里用夜行神龙形容猫，可能是取夜行神龙受诅咒化作石像，也即猫咪的爪子卡在阴沟里动弹不得）
【表面漠不关心，内心却万般牵挂。母亲的反应让我想起了一首音乐 Cara Mia Mddio，这是游戏Portal2的片尾曲】
Fish are pulling faces in the river, frozenmid-swim. The whole city is in the clutches of a glass-blower, who exhales an ear-biting cold. In a matter of seconds, the few brave people who dare to headoutside are paralysed, you’d think some deity had just taken their photograph.Carried along by the momentum of their own scurrying, some start gliding to therhythm of a final dance. They almost look handsome, each assuming his or her ownstyle, twisted angels with their scarves sticking up in the sky, music-box dancers at the close of their performance, slowing down to the bars of their very last breath.
Everywhere, passers-by already frozen – oron their way to freezing – impale themselves on the rose garden of fountains.Only the clocks continue to make the heart of the city beat, as if none of this were out of the ordinary.
鱼儿刚探出水面就冻结了。整个城市都像是坐落在一个玻璃鼓风机上，阵阵寒风令人不住地打颤。在刚开始的时候，少数勇敢的敢在外面露面的人几乎都忍受不了而逃向室内了。你可能会想天空中的神明一定为这些人惊慌失措的神情留影了呢。拼尽自己剩余的力气，他们有如舞会终曲的旋律般飞奔起来，他们以自己的方式竭尽全力地奔跑着，全然不顾围巾肆意地飞舞。他们一直跑到酒吧喝下一口烈酒才能稍稍缓一口气。
无论何处，路人们都已经或已近乎冻僵。只有时钟还在继续运行（只有时间还在静静流逝），似乎没有什么不寻常的事情发生。
Everywhere, passers-by already frozen – oron their way to freezing – impale themselves on the rose garden of fountains.Only the clocks continue to make the heart of the city beat, as if none of this were out of the ordinary.
鱼儿刚探出水面就冻结了。整个城市都像是坐落在一个玻璃鼓风机上，阵阵寒风令人不住地打颤。在刚开始的时候，少数勇敢的敢在外面露面的人几乎都忍受不了而逃向室内了。你可能会想天空中的神明一定为这些人惊慌失措的神情留影了呢。拼尽自己剩余的力气，他们有如舞会终曲的旋律般飞奔起来，他们以自己的方式竭尽全力地奔跑着，全然不顾围巾肆意地飞舞。他们一直跑到酒吧喝下一口烈酒才能稍稍缓一口气。
无论何处，路人们都已经或已近乎冻僵。只有时钟还在继续运行（只有时间还在静静流逝），似乎没有什么不寻常的事情发生。
The first rays of light bounce off the snowand sneak in through the shutters. Dr Madeleine is exhausted. As for me, I’vefallen asleep; perhaps I’m dead, because my heart stopped for too long.
Just then, a cuckoo sings so loudly in mychest that I cough in surprise. Eyes wide open, I spot Dr Madeleine with herarms in the air, like she’s just scored a penalty in a World Cup final.
She starts stitching my chest with theskill of an accomplished tailor; I’m not exactly battered but my skin looksold, with wrinkles like Charles Bronson. Stylish. The dial is protected by anenormous bandage.
Every morning, I need to be wound up withthe key. Otherwise I risk drifting off to sleep for ever.
My mother says I look like a big snowflakewith clock hands sticking out. Madeleine replies that it’s a good system forfinding me again in a snowstorm.
从雪地上反射的 第一缕光悄悄地透过百叶窗照进来。玛德琳已经筋疲力尽了。而我已经睡着了。又或许我已经离开了，毕竟我的心脏停止跳动那么久。
就在这时，一只布谷鸟在我的胸膛大声歌唱，令我惊醒而咳嗽起来。我睁大眼睛，发现玛德琳将我抱起，开心地旋转，就好像她刚在世界杯决赛上射中了点球。
她开始以娴熟的技艺缝合我的胸口，虽然我还刚刚出生，可是我的皮肤看上去却很老，有着和查尔斯·布朗森一样的皱纹。最后，表盘被用宽大的绷带包裹起来。
每天早晨，我都要用钥匙给布谷鸟钟上发条。否则我可能会永远沉睡过去。
我的妈妈说我看上去就像是一个带着钟表的雪花。玛德琳笑着说这样的话在暴风雪来临时她就能很容易地找到我了。
Just then, a cuckoo sings so loudly in mychest that I cough in surprise. Eyes wide open, I spot Dr Madeleine with herarms in the air, like she’s just scored a penalty in a World Cup final.
She starts stitching my chest with theskill of an accomplished tailor; I’m not exactly battered but my skin looksold, with wrinkles like Charles Bronson. Stylish. The dial is protected by anenormous bandage.
Every morning, I need to be wound up withthe key. Otherwise I risk drifting off to sleep for ever.
My mother says I look like a big snowflakewith clock hands sticking out. Madeleine replies that it’s a good system forfinding me again in a snowstorm.
从雪地上反射的 第一缕光悄悄地透过百叶窗照进来。玛德琳已经筋疲力尽了。而我已经睡着了。又或许我已经离开了，毕竟我的心脏停止跳动那么久。
就在这时，一只布谷鸟在我的胸膛大声歌唱，令我惊醒而咳嗽起来。我睁大眼睛，发现玛德琳将我抱起，开心地旋转，就好像她刚在世界杯决赛上射中了点球。
她开始以娴熟的技艺缝合我的胸口，虽然我还刚刚出生，可是我的皮肤看上去却很老，有着和查尔斯·布朗森一样的皱纹。最后，表盘被用宽大的绷带包裹起来。
每天早晨，我都要用钥匙给布谷鸟钟上发条。否则我可能会永远沉睡过去。
我的妈妈说我看上去就像是一个带着钟表的雪花。玛德琳笑着说这样的话在暴风雪来临时她就能很容易地找到我了。
After the disturbing story of Madeleine’stears, it takes a while for me to feel excited as we head down the hill. But assoon as I see Edinburgh, my dreams get the upper hand.
I feel like Christopher Columbusdiscovering America. The twisted maze of streets beckons like a lover. Houses lean towards each other, shrinking the sky. I’m running! A single breath could bring the whole city tumbling down in a game of brick dominoes. I’m running!The trees are still stuck up there on top of the hill, but down here people arespringing up everywhere, the women an explosion of flowers, poppy-hats,poppy-dresses. I see them leaning out of balcony windows, as far as the market that brightens Salisbury Place.
在听了有关玛德琳的眼泪令人心碎的故事后，我还过了一会才为即将下山而激动。而当我一看到爱丁堡时，往日的梦想与渴望便占据了一切。
我就像哥伦布发现了美洲大陆一样。蜿蜒的迷宫般的街道如爱人般招手；房屋紧挨着，天空也因此显得更小了。我自由地奔跑着。只是一个呼吸就能让城市像多米诺骨牌一样坍塌；我奔跑着，树木都只在远远的山上，这儿人潮涌动，妇女们如怒放的鲜花。我看着人们靠着阳台的窗户，就和照亮Salisbury Place的集市一样遥远。
I’m taking it all in: clogs ringing outover the cobblestones; mingled voices that carry me away. And the great belltower, tolling with a heart ten times bigger than mine.
‘Is that my father?’
‘No, no, it’s not your father . . . It’s chiming for one o’clock, itonly tolls once a day,’ Madeleine answers, out of puff.
We cross the square. Music can be heardround the corner of a side street, as mischievous and melancholic as harmoniousglitter. The melody takes my breath away; inside me, it’s raining and shiningat the same time.
‘That’s a barrel organ. Nice, isn’t it?’ Madeleine tells me. ‘It functions in much the same way as your heart, which is probably why you like itso much. It’s mechanical on the outside, with emotions on the inside.’
我将所有的东西都记在脑海中：厚底木屐在鹅卵石上行走的声音；令我陶醉的混杂的声音；以及大钟楼，比我的布谷鸟钟大十倍的钟。
“那是我的父亲吗？”
“不，不，这不是你的父亲。这是一点的钟鸣声，它每天只会被敲响一次。”玛德琳有些力不从心地回答道。
我们穿过广场，在小巷拐角处可以听到音乐，就和和谐的闪光一样调皮而忧郁。这旋律令我屏住呼吸；而我则心潮澎湃，犹如风雨与阳光共存。
“那是手摇风琴，很好听，不是吗？”玛德琳告诉我，“它的工作原理与你心几乎一样，这也许就是你很喜欢它的原因。它外表看起来是机械，但内部饱含着情感。”
I feel like Christopher Columbusdiscovering America. The twisted maze of streets beckons like a lover. Houses lean towards each other, shrinking the sky. I’m running! A single breath could bring the whole city tumbling down in a game of brick dominoes. I’m running!The trees are still stuck up there on top of the hill, but down here people arespringing up everywhere, the women an explosion of flowers, poppy-hats,poppy-dresses. I see them leaning out of balcony windows, as far as the market that brightens Salisbury Place.
在听了有关玛德琳的眼泪令人心碎的故事后，我还过了一会才为即将下山而激动。而当我一看到爱丁堡时，往日的梦想与渴望便占据了一切。
我就像哥伦布发现了美洲大陆一样。蜿蜒的迷宫般的街道如爱人般招手；房屋紧挨着，天空也因此显得更小了。我自由地奔跑着。只是一个呼吸就能让城市像多米诺骨牌一样坍塌；我奔跑着，树木都只在远远的山上，这儿人潮涌动，妇女们如怒放的鲜花。我看着人们靠着阳台的窗户，就和照亮Salisbury Place的集市一样遥远。
I’m taking it all in: clogs ringing outover the cobblestones; mingled voices that carry me away. And the great belltower, tolling with a heart ten times bigger than mine.
‘Is that my father?’
‘No, no, it’s not your father . . . It’s chiming for one o’clock, itonly tolls once a day,’ Madeleine answers, out of puff.
We cross the square. Music can be heardround the corner of a side street, as mischievous and melancholic as harmoniousglitter. The melody takes my breath away; inside me, it’s raining and shiningat the same time.
‘That’s a barrel organ. Nice, isn’t it?’ Madeleine tells me. ‘It functions in much the same way as your heart, which is probably why you like itso much. It’s mechanical on the outside, with emotions on the inside.’
我将所有的东西都记在脑海中：厚底木屐在鹅卵石上行走的声音；令我陶醉的混杂的声音；以及大钟楼，比我的布谷鸟钟大十倍的钟。
“那是我的父亲吗？”
“不，不，这不是你的父亲。这是一点的钟鸣声，它每天只会被敲响一次。”玛德琳有些力不从心地回答道。
我们穿过广场，在小巷拐角处可以听到音乐，就和和谐的闪光一样调皮而忧郁。这旋律令我屏住呼吸；而我则心潮澎湃，犹如风雨与阳光共存。
“那是手摇风琴，很好听，不是吗？”玛德琳告诉我，“它的工作原理与你心几乎一样，这也许就是你很喜欢它的原因。它外表看起来是机械，但内部饱含着情感。”
The school is located in the well-heeledarea of Calton Hill, just opposite St Giles’ Cathedral. Over by the entrance,it’s a country of fur coats and women cackling loudly as big hens. The way Annaand Luna laugh makes them scowl. They observe Arthur’s limping gait and thebump that makes my left lung swell suspiciously. Their husbands, suited andbooted, look like walking coat hangers; they pretend to be shocked by ourtwisted tribe, but that doesn’t stop them from eyeballing the two girls’cleavages.
学校坐落在卡尔顿山的富庶地带，它对面就是圣吉尔斯大教堂。就在入口处，我们看到的是穿着毛大衣、叽叽喳喳像母鸡一样喧闹的女人们。安娜和露娜的笑声令她们皱眉。她们嘲笑亚瑟的跛行步态，这令我很不舒服。他们的丈夫穿着正装和长靴，看起来就像是行走的衣架。他们努力表现出对于我们只是略有兴趣，可是这无法掩饰他们对安娜与露娜的垂涎。【想起了一本书’What Every ManThinks About Apart From Sex‘，200页全是空白。我也是男生，所以不存在歧视什么的哦。】
After a quick goodbye to my makeshiftfamily, I walk through the huge gates – you’d think I’d been enrolled in aninstitution for giants. The schoolyard looks impossible to cross, even if itsfootball goalposts add a slightly welcoming touch.
在和临时组建的家人告别后，我走进了学校的大门——你看到的话一定会认为我走进了巨人的世界。校园看起来如此宽广，似乎根本走不到头，即便在足球门柱那拉着欢迎横幅。（意在暗示校园气氛压抑。）
学校坐落在卡尔顿山的富庶地带，它对面就是圣吉尔斯大教堂。就在入口处，我们看到的是穿着毛大衣、叽叽喳喳像母鸡一样喧闹的女人们。安娜和露娜的笑声令她们皱眉。她们嘲笑亚瑟的跛行步态，这令我很不舒服。他们的丈夫穿着正装和长靴，看起来就像是行走的衣架。他们努力表现出对于我们只是略有兴趣，可是这无法掩饰他们对安娜与露娜的垂涎。【想起了一本书’What Every ManThinks About Apart From Sex‘，200页全是空白。我也是男生，所以不存在歧视什么的哦。】
After a quick goodbye to my makeshiftfamily, I walk through the huge gates – you’d think I’d been enrolled in aninstitution for giants. The schoolyard looks impossible to cross, even if itsfootball goalposts add a slightly welcoming touch.
在和临时组建的家人告别后，我走进了学校的大门——你看到的话一定会认为我走进了巨人的世界。校园看起来如此宽广，似乎根本走不到头，即便在足球门柱那拉着欢迎横幅。（意在暗示校园气氛压抑。）
‘Nobody’s allowed to talk to me about Miss Acacia and her spectacles!Nobody, you understand, least of all a midget like you. Don’t ever mention hername again. D’you understand, midget?’
I don’t answer. A murmur rises from thecrowd: ‘Joe . . .’ Each second weighs heavily. Suddenly, he cocks his ear in mydirection and asks:
‘How do you make that strange tick-tock noise?’
I don’t say anything.
He heads calmly over to me, stooping histall carcass to put his ear next to my heart. My clock is palpitating. Time hasstopped for me. His boy’s beard stings like barbed wire across my chest.Cunnilingus points his snout and sniffs the top of Joe’s head. If he startspeeing, things could get complicated.
“没有人可以谈论阿卡西亚小姐或是她的眼镜！任何人都不行，你明白了吗？尤其是你这样的小家伙。别再说她的名字，你明白了吗小家伙。”
我没有回答。人群中传来了细语“乔. . .”。每一秒都令我感到万分沉重。突然，他竖起耳朵朝向我问道：“你怎么发出这种奇怪的滴答滴答声？”
我默不作声。
他缓缓地走向我，弯下腰好让耳朵贴近我的心脏。我的机械心不停地跳动。此刻时间好像停止了。他的胡子就像是铁丝网一样刺痛我的胸口。Cunnilingus探出脑袋，嗅着乔的额头。我在想，要是他吓得尿裤子了一定会很麻烦的。
All of a sudden, Joe tears off my buttonsand rips open my jacket to expose the clock hands poking out of my shirt. Thecrowd of curious onlookers goes ‘Ooooh . . .’ I’m so embarrassed, he might aswell have pulled my trousers down. He listens to my heart for a while, thenstands up slowly.
‘Is that your heart making all that noise?’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re in love with her, aren’t you?’
His deep, conceited voice makes all mybones shiver.
My brain wants to say no, no . . . but myheart has faster access to my lips.
‘Yes, I am.’
突然，乔扯开了我的纽扣和夹克，在T恤外的钟表外壳展露无遗。围观的人群发出惊讶的叫声。我羞愧难当，就好像他也将我的裤子扯了下来。他听了一会我心脏的声音，然后站了起来。
“是你的心脏发出那些噪音的吗?”
“是的。”
“你爱上她了，难道不是吗？”
他低沉而自负的声音令我战栗不已。
我的理智驱使我去否认，然而我的心远快过我的唇齿。
“是的，我爱她。”
I don’t answer. A murmur rises from thecrowd: ‘Joe . . .’ Each second weighs heavily. Suddenly, he cocks his ear in mydirection and asks:
‘How do you make that strange tick-tock noise?’
I don’t say anything.
He heads calmly over to me, stooping histall carcass to put his ear next to my heart. My clock is palpitating. Time hasstopped for me. His boy’s beard stings like barbed wire across my chest.Cunnilingus points his snout and sniffs the top of Joe’s head. If he startspeeing, things could get complicated.
“没有人可以谈论阿卡西亚小姐或是她的眼镜！任何人都不行，你明白了吗？尤其是你这样的小家伙。别再说她的名字，你明白了吗小家伙。”
我没有回答。人群中传来了细语“乔. . .”。每一秒都令我感到万分沉重。突然，他竖起耳朵朝向我问道：“你怎么发出这种奇怪的滴答滴答声？”
我默不作声。
他缓缓地走向我，弯下腰好让耳朵贴近我的心脏。我的机械心不停地跳动。此刻时间好像停止了。他的胡子就像是铁丝网一样刺痛我的胸口。Cunnilingus探出脑袋，嗅着乔的额头。我在想，要是他吓得尿裤子了一定会很麻烦的。
All of a sudden, Joe tears off my buttonsand rips open my jacket to expose the clock hands poking out of my shirt. Thecrowd of curious onlookers goes ‘Ooooh . . .’ I’m so embarrassed, he might aswell have pulled my trousers down. He listens to my heart for a while, thenstands up slowly.
‘Is that your heart making all that noise?’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re in love with her, aren’t you?’
His deep, conceited voice makes all mybones shiver.
My brain wants to say no, no . . . but myheart has faster access to my lips.
‘Yes, I am.’
突然，乔扯开了我的纽扣和夹克，在T恤外的钟表外壳展露无遗。围观的人群发出惊讶的叫声。我羞愧难当，就好像他也将我的裤子扯了下来。他听了一会我心脏的声音，然后站了起来。
“是你的心脏发出那些噪音的吗?”
“是的。”
“你爱上她了，难道不是吗？”
他低沉而自负的声音令我战栗不已。
我的理智驱使我去否认，然而我的心远快过我的唇齿。
“是的，我爱她。”
