【那啥】大家帮我看看哪一篇更好，谢谢

这一星期的英语作为要写自己喜欢的明星，我写了两篇，可是不知道那一篇比较好，希望亲们帮选一下，可能里面的语法有很多错误，大家也帮忙改一改，谢谢~

发不起~

michelle ye born in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province in early 1980, she began to learn a variety of childhood dance, piano, calligraphy and so on.

Her parents divorced at age 9, and 10-year-old with his father emigrated to the U.S., from the age of 13 michelle ye to be completely independent in a foreign country solely responsible for their lives and their studies, made her independent personality

michelle ye attended high school in the United States John Dewey High School, the prestigious Ivy League universities in the University Wesleyan College.

In 1999, to participate in Miss Chinese competition and won the championship and the most classical beauty prize. Interpretation began her career.

Her TV work includes: "fengshenbang," "zaishengyuan" "yunhaiyugongyuan" "xixiangqiyuan", "tianxiadiyi" and "buxitianhou" "guosetianxiang", etc.

Her films include: "qingyiwxinzhi," "yiwai", "huolongduij" "Cai Lifo boxing 2010" and so on.

回复：8楼
自己写的【当然有一些参假部分，补习老师帮写了一些~

】

michelle ye于1980年初出生于浙江省杭州市，她从孩提时代就开始学习各种舞蹈，钢琴，书法等。
michelle ye9岁时父母离异，10岁随父亲移民美国，，从13岁起，michelle ye就完全独立，在异国他乡全权负责自己的生活与学业，造就了她独立自主的性格。
michelle ye中学就读于美国John Dewey High School，大学在著名常青藤学府卫斯理学院。
1999年，纽约华裔小姐选美，胜出后又代表美国纽约参加国际华裔小姐竞选，以其过人的学识谈吐与大气典雅的气质成功夺取[冠军]及[最具古典美态奖]。
她的演艺生涯从此开始。

第二段的~
等等在发英语的~
补习老师还没发给我~

michelle ye was born in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province in early 1980, she began to learn a variety of children's dance, piano, calligraphy and so on as soon as the age of three.

回复：13楼
谢谢蓝莓~

Her parents divorced when she was only 9 years old, and then she immigrated to America with her father the next year., from the age of 13 michelle ye was completely independent in a foreign country solely responsible for their lives and their studies, which made her independent .

michelle ye attended John Dewey High School in the United States , the prestigious Ivy League universities in the University Wesleyan College.

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