Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML 楼主在药店上班，经常碰到各种奇葩，今天，一个老爷子，张嘴要买炜哥，根据法律流程，买这个的时候我们必须要问清楚对方有没有什么不方便服用的地方，结果老爷子说“我就是路过这里，买点儿备用”。问题

Today, our cat died. My husband and I had a touching bonding moment together. Our relationship has been strained for months, and I thought this could bring us closer. He decided to bring up politics. FML 我跟我老公已经冷战了几个月了，今天我们的猫死了，终于我们才第一次依偎在一起，我本来以为我们的关系可以就这么缓和了，结果丫居然跟我打着官腔说话。FML Today, I have the option of staying downstairs and having to listen to my father have sex with his girlfriend, or moving upstairs and having to listen to my brother's side of

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML 有什么比开心果更脆更好吃的？死在开心果里面的蚂蚁更脆更好吃。。。不要问我怎么知道的FML Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML 今天，我去领取我的驾照，却被告知我需要一

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML 被解雇了，今天在上班的时候上Facebook被我们老板看到了，结果我们老板就通过Facebook给我留言说我被解雇了。结果居然有6个赞，卧槽 FML Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML 请教个问题，如果不小心把耳机用强力胶水粘耳朵上了该怎么办，在线等，急！ 今天耳机变两半了，我就用强力胶水给重新黏起来了，结果往耳朵里面放的时候忘记了，现在就在我耳朵上。。。。不要笑，真的挺急的。 FML Today, I spent some money to have a key made for my boyfriend so he could drive my car. Not only does he refuse to drive it, but he also refuses to take the key with him so he can at least unlock h

摘要: 一定是我的生活的打开方式不对 Today, I had a customer tell me that I don't look a day over 39. I'm 35. FML 遭遇毒舌，今儿有一客户跟我聊天，突然来一句，“你这瞅着怎么也不像是三十九的人呐”，老子才特么三十五好不好。FML Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML 还没结婚呢，最近发现自己的奶子分泌一些白白的液体，所以去看医生

摘要: 只有神之主宰才能拯救乃们的人生 Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML 国税局冻结了我的银行账号，因为老子欠了他们2块四毛七的税，真是日了狗了。FML Today, after 4 months working at my job, everyone including the new intern has a lunch buddy or lunch group, except for me. My lunch partners are books. FML 终于明白为什么说书是人类最好的朋

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML 前两天脚坏了，最近拄着根拐杖，此为前提，结果今天去银行的时候，银行保安不让我进，非得让老子证明我的拐杖不是武器，不然就报警。 FML Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML 无敌的脑残老爸 -- 带我男朋友回家，中间聊天聊到我男朋友的妈妈，我老爸突然一拍脑门，“奥，那是你妈啊，高中的时候是我女朋友来着，要不是。。。我就是该你爸爸了”， FML Today, I found out my request to have off on Thanksgiving for the first time in 6 years was denied, because I work the eveni

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML 今天，有个网友，我们前几个星期每天晚上都花好几个小时用来煲电话粥，我们感觉已经爱上了彼此，所以我们约好了今天见面。结果他刚刚看到我就跟我说收到了一个特别紧急的短信然后就走了，然后就再也不跟我说话了。 FML

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML 今天，有个网友，我们前几个星期每天晚上都花好几个小时用来煲电话粥，我们感觉已经爱上了彼此，所以我们约好了今天见面。结果他刚刚看到我就跟我说收到了一个特别紧急的短信然后就走了，然后就再也不跟我说话了。 FML Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I to

fml怎么引用mc中的粒子效果呢？？？ 本人moder新手求不喷qaq

如题。。

做英语阅读题10道只对了2道，同学全懵对了5道！FML

天王盖地虎

我出国在外，２年半前爱上了同是留学生的前女友，前女友国内有男人，我还是选择了做第三者，同居了２年，当她男人马上也要过来的时候，我选择了退出，我不想让她为难，她已经不爱我了。浑浑噩噩的过着下面的日子，发呆，发呆，发呆。莫名的缘分向我袭来，我认识了她，现在的女朋友，原本的我只是想找一个可以说故事的人，我不认识她，虽然我们高中是同一届，虽然她是我好朋友的朋友，不认识最好，我只是想找个人说说话，找个我不认

1、她说她早上拉完二斤屎、顿时感觉饿了

我常上新西兰的贴吧，就有这个吧。 所有搜搜看，没想到 国内的也有

刘明

我还会继续努力

吭当吭当脑袋 唱唱歌 睡睡觉 溜溜腿 日子真美好啊

大家来玩玩 “我愿意”这个游戏 看看你有多聪明。楼上提问你都必须回答“我愿意”.（你可以用你的聪明才智化解危机哦）然后再给楼下出题。违反规则的大家无视！比如:楼上问:你愿意嫁给我吗?楼下答:我愿意. 不过我是男的楼下的:你愿意把你银行密码告诉我吗楼下答:愿意，只不过里面没钱了。因为我们是人我们文明回帖！好我先开始：楼下的:你愿意娶我吗? .

FML:居然有这吧

每天和女友一起坐地铁下班 不知何时开始，地铁口总有个帅哥倚在跑车上对她眉目传情，女友先是无视，但帅哥和跑车每天准时出现，渐渐她脸上写满期待，对我越来越冷淡。 直到那一天，帅哥捧着红玫瑰问她：“离开他好吗？” “当然”她很兴奋。 他转向我：“她不爱你了，做我男朋友吧！” 我接过了花束........

喵呜新人报道什么的 继续f...u/可 my life吧~ 0 0

今天我开车 6 小时参加一个面试，因此错过了我最好朋友的婚礼。 而事实上，这个面试其实在明天……FML

开始的开始总是甜蜜的， 后来就有了厌倦、习惯、背弃、寂寞、绝望和冷笑。 曾经渴望与一个人长相厮守，后来，多么庆幸自己离开了。 曾几何时，在一段短暂的时光里， 我们以为自己深深的爱着的一个人。 后来，我们才知道， 那不是爱，那只是对自己说谎。——张小娴 fml

哎 生活啊

！

感觉吧里好冷清。 在咱们这个幸福感很强大的社会里FML的事情应该很多的    人气也应该很高的哦                     ----FML

我来水一下……不会怀孕吧

连编辑文章的工具框架都不能载入，COPY不能，吐槽不能。FML

FML的发现这个贴吧的会员名字是****er。。

啊啊是打算的暗示

RT