August 28
Now,I'm trying to calm myself down. One thing that I must admit is that I'm not a smart girl.The only solution that I can think of is to work harder.Since people around me are so aggressive and ambious,I have no choice but to face them.Though some of them are really shameless and much too paticular about triflie, I still pretend to be knowing nothing about that and treat them in a friendly way.
Do I lead a pretentious and exhausting life? Who knows.

@竹雨冰心 @飘渺生 

August 30
I keep worried. Everyone seems to be industrial this holiday, while I just finish the assignment and totally do nothing. Many of my classmates attend extra lessons. So do I,but I virtually haven't learnt anything, forgetting that they charged a lot. I also should pay for my final exam last term ,my poor health!I still can't be used to staying up late every night and feeling stressful all day long.
Life is monotonous isn't it?But I still wanna spice it.

August 31st
My last day of the holday,right?Tomorrow I will be back to the world of chaos. Feeling listless,pehaps I should also add a little expectancy to the life. To be frank, I will become less competitive because of someone's rising. I have already had my day,haven't I? Being endurant.Sitting still waiting for death? Sounds joking ,but I'm afraid I have to.

Feb 8th
After I unravelled the cruel reality,I really didn't blame those who set the absurd rules but I did detest those who persuaded us that we would still have the possibility to be selected as long as we set about them in future though we were inferior.
I know that many of us are eager to have access to the ivory tower.I just can't understand their crazyness and eagerness. Perhaps Ishould have been eliminated bofore I was born.It seems that I am absolutely a loser in the reality. I am neither ambitious or aggressive.I am so naive that I didn't find the substance of the policy until I was involved in the heated competition.
Poor creature!They may mock at my ignorance and so may I.it's really ridiculous.Lacking talent and ambition, I have an inferior dream——I wanna become a true study-lord.Since I won't be someone's girlfriend in my highschool time,is there anything more meaningful than this?