你六毛，我六毛，我俩加起来一块2了

这句话也是个冷笑话。。。我俩很“二”。。
看到大家的回复（大家只有两个银），懒姑凉受宠若惊！
所以我又来更新鸟。

After trying for a baby for years without joy, my wife sought for medical advice.
She couldn't understand when the doctor said she was perfectely normal and should be no problems.
I didn't have the heart to tell her I had a vasectomy.
在多年不懈的毫无快感纯为要孩子的奋斗不果后，我老婆上医院检查去了。她怎么也不明白医生为毛说她超级正常完全没毛病。我是没忍心跟她说过我结扎过。

What's better than winning the lottery?
Winning it after your divorce comes through.
有啥比中了彩票还棒的事没有？
那奏是，中的时候婚已经离完啦。

My granddad lost his tongue in the war.
He never talks about it.
我爷爷在战争中失去了舌头。他从来不谈这件事。

If every 9 1/2 minutes someone in America is infected with HIV shouldn't everyone in Africa be dead by now?
要是每9分半钟就有一个人在美国感染HIV，那在非洲，人到这会不是该死绝了乜？
这个，太……

Victory is like a bacon sandwich,
Pakistan will never get to taste it!!
胜利就象块熏猪肉三文治
巴基斯坦永远也尝不到它的滋味
也是racism吧

Service is so slow at my local Chinese restaurant, I've just had an Autumn roll delivered.
我们本地的中餐馆服务太慢了，我刚收到一份送来的秋卷
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！我喜欢英国人这个笑话！话说，各国老外好象都挺喜欢吃中餐的春卷

What's the difference between rape and murder?
My mood.
强奸和谋杀有什么区别？
区别在于我当时的心情。

继续顶~

People keep telling me my beard makes me look like an axe murderer.
I tell them it's a magic beard which disappears when you look away.
That usually buys me enough time to reach for my axe.
人们总是说我的胡子让我看上去象个拿斧子砍人的。
我告诉他们：
这是魔法胡子来的，你往旁边看一下，它们就消失了~
这样我就有充分的时间掏斧子了。


歧视女司机啊~
I was trying to find a way to kill my wife without raising suspicion.
So I bought her a car.
我想找到一个不着痕迹的杀妻方法。
所以我给她买了辆车。

The next person to tell me I overreact is going to get stabbed.
谁再说我总是反应过激，我就刺死他！
Been sitting at work watching the horrible videos from Japan on my laptop.
Why do they always pixelate the private parts?.
上班的时候，我一直坐在电脑前，看着来自日本那些可怕的影像。
真是太可怕了，竟然有码！！！！！


One thing is certain about the Japanese earthquake:
We're not going to be short of ****ing photographs.
就算日本地震了，我也坚信我们不会缺毛片看！
====================================================
哈哈，写笑话的人就希望你这么理解啦
其实原意应该是 日本一地震，我们就能他妈的看到一堆新闻照片了。
请深刻体会****ing作为实词和强调的区别~
他们很爱用这样的梗。
呜呜呜，我的功底还不够深啊。


I was finding it really hard to decide whether I should donate money to Japan or Comic Relief.
So in the end, I just bought myself a jacuzzi.
实在难以抉择，是该给日本海啸捐款呢，还是该给英国慈善捐款？
所以最后，我给自己买了个按摩浴缸。