2. From the merrow
7th Sept, 2009
A few months ago my bone marrow started sending me messages.
The signals: I was always exhausted, pale, drained, and completely depleted of red blood cells. The lack of oxygen made me a serial yawner and spacier than a displaced Czarina. Little did I know, but my hemoglobin had fallen to levels where even a dedicated Blood sucker would turn their thoughts to revival. In between work and travel in India this year, I got a routine blood test and the results sent me to the hospital for a blood transfusion.
But not a reason to stop and, like, change my life?
The attempt to communicate probably started earlier. Time when I was ‘busy’. Building a career and impersonating myself. Travelling a lot and stock-piling impressions and drama and super hyped destinations and a life in ‘art’. So I couldn’t hear my marrow gently carbonating. Trying to get my attention. Instead of tuning in to my body, I tuned out like a landlocked pirate tuning out the sounds of the sea.
从骨髓开始
几个月前,我的骨髓开始传递信息给我。
信号:我总是觉得精疲力尽,面色苍白,精力透支,而且红细胞计数几乎为0. 缺氧让我有持续的乏力和昏昏沉沉的感觉,更甚于一个被流放的沙皇皇后(Lisa文笔不错,用了这样的一个比较)。我不知道为什么会这样,但是我的血红蛋白数量水平已经少得到了某种尽忠职守的吸血生物都要掉头离开的程度。今年在印度辗转的工作和旅行间,我进行了常规的抽血化验,结果是让我去医院输血。
但这是不是一个让我停下来,比如,去改变一下我的生活的理由?
进行充分沟通的尝试其实早就开始了。在我还很“忙碌”的时候就开始了。为了发展自己的事业(后面那个Impersonate是在是翻译不好)。繁忙的旅行,以及满满当当的沉静在“艺术”中的生活,让我无暇顾及正在碳酸化的骨髓。 它正以此来争取我的关注。我本应该开始正视我的身体,然而,我却对它不理不睬,就像一个呆在内陆上的海盗,完全听不到大海的声音。