Serena shook her head definitively. She needed to say those words to the one person who mattered. She needed to find Nate. Maybe he was in love with Blair. But she couldn’t ever be happy unless he knew how she felt.
Serena slipped out of the car and bounded up the snowy steps of Nate’s town house. As she ran, she didn’t notice the fresh set of footprints on the snow leading up to the door.
She yanked off her ugly red Hermès goatskin driving gloves, a gift from her chain-smoking LA publicist, and stuffed them in the terra-cotta planter sitting to the left of the entrance. She pressed Nate’s buzzer with her red polished fingernails. It was dark outside, and the freshly falling snow made Serena feel nostalgic. Always on the first snowfall of the year, she, Blair, and Nate would meet for hot chocolate, then sit on the steps of the Met, not caring how cold it was. Maybe she and Nate could go there tonight.
“Hello?” Nate’s voice sounded sleepy. Had she woken him up?
Not really.
“Natie!” she yelled into the intercom, trying to calm herself. She didn’t want to just burst in his room and profess her love. “It’s me and it’s freezing!”
“Serena?” His crackly voice sounded incredulous through the intercom.
“No, silly, it’s your mom. Of course it’s me!” she said impatiently.
“Oh.” Nate paused and Serena held her breath. She didn’t have another script to follow. Nate had to let her in. “Come in,” he said finally, pressing the buzzer long and loud.
Serena pulled open the door, ran up the stairs, and burst into Nate’s bedroom. One of the best things about Nate’s house was the fact that the third floor was entirely his. When they were younger, they used to pretend his bedroom, den, and bathroom were their own private apartment.
Some people still like playing house.
“Hello?” Serena called again, hearing her voice bounce off the dark oak ceiling.
Nate walked out of the bathroom, wearing a wrinkled green T-shirt and green plaid boxers. Serena looked gorgeous and healthy and happy, all in one spectacular package. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that Blair was still showering. “What are you doing here?” Nate asked. Blair had said Serena was at rehearsal all day.
“I was just in the neighborhood!” Serena wandered over to his dresser and picked up a model sailboat. She passed it gently from hand to hand as if playing a game of catch with herself. “So, what have you been up to today? It’s freezing.”
“Not much,” Nate mumbled. How long had Blair been in the shower? Ten minutes, fifteen minutes? She usually took forever, but he wasn’t sure how much time he had.
Serena坚定地摇了摇头，她必须要把这些话说出来，说给那个人听。她需要告诉Nate。也许他爱着Blair，但是如果他不曾知道自己的感觉，她自己永远都没办法快乐起来。
Serena从车上走下来，踩在Nate家门前满是积雪的台阶，因为她是跑着的，她并没有注意到那里有些脚印一直延到大门。
她猛地拽下难看的红色Hermes山羊皮手套，那个洛杉矶吸烟联盟送的礼物，把它们从包包的左边塞进去，用她涂着红色指甲油的手指按下了Nate家的门铃。外面灯光昏暗，飘落的雪花让她感觉到自己置身于魔幻世界。往年的第一次下雪，她都会和Blair还有Nate一起坐在大都会博物馆的台阶上喝着热巧克力，并不在意寒冷的天气。或许今天晚上她可以和Nate一起去。
“谁？”Nate充满着睡意的声音问道，她把他从睡梦中吵醒了么？
并不是。
“Natie！”她对着对讲器大喊道，随后努力地让自己平静下来，她本不想匆忙地冲进他的房间然后就表现着自己的爱意，“是我，外面好冷！”
“Serena？”他难以置信的声音从对讲器的另一头传来。
“不是，笨蛋，是你妈妈。废话，当然是我啦！”她急迫地说着。
“哦，”Nate突然不出声音了，Serena屏住呼吸，她没有预料到他这样的反应。Nate必须让她进去。“进来，”他终于说了，按下了开关。
Serena推开门，跑上台阶，冲进Nate的卧室。Nate家最棒的事情就是Nate独自拥有整个第三层。他们小的时候，一直都把他的卧室，小客厅，还有浴室当做是他们的私人领地。
有些人就是到了现在也还是喜欢玩过家家。
“喂？”Serena喊了一声，听着黑暗的天花板传回来的回音。
Nate走出浴室，穿着一件皱巴巴地绿色T-shirt和一条绿色的格子短裤。Serena看起来无比的漂亮，健康，开心，非常耀眼的状态。他突然间意识到Blair还在浴室，“你来这里有事么？”Nate问道，Blair有说过Serena今天一天都在片场。
“我就在附近！”Serena走到他的一窥旁，拿起一架模型帆船，两只手倒来倒去的玩着，“你今天都做了什么？外面好冷。”
“没做什么，”他嘟囔着。Blair洗了多久了？10分钟？15分钟？她通常都会洗很久，可是他并不确定自己还有多少时间。


To do what, exactly?
Nate felt confused. Just as he’d always felt whenever he was with Serena and Blair at the same time. Why did they have to be so confusing? He loved Blair. He was following Blair to school, for God’s sake. So then why did Serena, with her deep blue eyes that reminded him of the Pacific Ocean and her long limbs, tight and taut like the strings of a tennis racket, make him feel… well, make him feel the way he felt right now.
Serena put down the tiny sailboat model and picked up another, larger ship with three tiny canvas sails. Ever since she could remember, Nate had been obsessed with sailboats. She knew she was avoiding what she really wanted to say, but now that she was here, there were so many emotions bubbling inside her, she wasn’t sure where to begin.
“You know, we’re supposed to wrap Coffee at the Palace next week. After that, I don’t have any projects. My parents were hoping I’d start at Yale in the spring, but I think I need an adventure.” She felt her heart hammering in her chest. “Are you going sailing again? Maybe I could come,” she offered, her face breaking into a sunny smile.
“It’s not that much of an adventure. A lot of knot tying,” Nate said nonsensically. He knew he should explain that he and Blair were together now, and that he was going to Yale with her, but he couldn’t. Instead, he imagined what it would be like on the ocean with Serena.
“I like tying knots. I showed you how to tie your shoes when we were kids, remember? Take me along. I can be first mate! Aye, aye, Captain!” Serena goofily did a mock salute, her dark eyes looking straight into Nate’s glittering green ones. Please say yes, she willed.
“Like that would ever happen.” Blair strode out of the bathroom, wearing just a towel wrapped around her body, her chestnut hair damp around her shoulders. “Nate and I are going to Yale, together,” she added, narrowing her eyes. Why the **** was Serena here? And had she really just asked Nate what Blair thought she had? Was she inviting herself to sail the world with him?
Serena felt like she’d been punched in the gut. Of course Blair had been eavesdropping from the bathroom this whole time. Of course she was here, watching over Nate’s every move, not letting him out of her sight. Of course they were riding off into the sunset together. “How does your boyfriend feel about that?” she muttered under her breath.
Blair narrowed her icy blue eyes. “What did you say?”
Serena crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Blair. If Blair wanted a fight, fine, she’d give it to her. She wasn’t going to let Blair get away with stealing Nate.
Again.
到底要做些什么呢？
Nate有些犹豫不定，就像每次他和Blair还有Serena同时在一起的时候一样。为什么她们两个会让自己这么犹豫不决呢？他爱Blair，他曾经陪着Blair一起去上学，上帝可以作证。可是既然这样，为什么Serena又会牵扯进来呢？她深蓝色的眼睛让他想到太平洋，还有她修长的双腿，像网球拍的线那样流线的肌肉，让他感到……呃，就让他感觉到像此刻这样。
Serena放下那个小小的帆船模型，又拿起另一个，稍微大一点的，有着3个水手小人的模型船。从她有记忆以来，Nate就一直很痴迷于各种帆船。她知道自己在有意识地回避自己说出内心真正想说的话，可是此刻，她身处这里，这个四周有太多充满着各种回忆的气泡围绕着自己的地方，她却不知道要从何说起。
“你知道么，我们下个礼拜应该在皇宫酒店煮上一些咖啡，接下来，我没有其他的计划。我的父母希望我春季可以去耶鲁上学，可是我觉得我需要做些刺激的事情，”她感到自己的胸口就像要爆开一样激烈地跳着，“你还有继续航海的打算么？或许，我可以和你一起去。”她问道，露出灿烂的笑容。
“那并算不上是一个冒险，而且会有很多麻烦，”Nate胡乱说道。他知道自己应该告诉她此刻他正和Blair在一起，而且也即将会和Blair一起去耶鲁上学，但是他说不出口，他能够想象到那会让Serena的海面起多大的风浪。
“Nate不会去航海的，”Blair走出浴室，只有一条浴巾裹着她的身体，栗色的头发湿漉漉的搭在她的肩膀，“Nate会和我一起去耶鲁上学。”她眯着眼睛继续说道。为什么Serena会跑来这里么？而且她刚刚的话确实就是Blair所理解的那样么？她真的在要求和他一起去航海么？
Serena觉得就像一下子跌到谷底一样，当然Blair会一直在浴室里面偷听他们的谈话，当然Blair会在这里观察者Nate的一句一动，不让他有机会离开她的视线，当然他们会一起去看日落。“你男朋友也认可你这样的计划么？”她喃喃自语道。
Blair眯着她冰蓝色的眼睛，“你觉得呢？”
Serena双手在胸前交叉，看着Blair。如果Blair想要引起战争，没问题，她一定奉陪。她决不允许Blair抢走Nate。
又是这样。

回复：273楼
Serena双手在胸前交叉，看着Blair。如果Blair想要引起战争，没问题，她一定奉陪。她决不允许Blair抢走Nate。
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
我要看剧中S主动找N，争取N


回复：274楼
我只奢求S能够明白N的心

啊 大爱啊~~

沙发..坐下再慢慢看..感激啊感激..终于可以再看到咱NS了..

回复：279楼
就是这样，翻原著翻得我好讨厌N，看电视剧又看得我好讨厌S。。。

回复：280楼
LZ还有吗，虽然N很混但还想看下去，辛苦了。原著和剧里反差好大。

回复：281楼
还有大概20段吧。。。慢慢来。。。慢慢来。。。。

Serena took the bottle of Ketel on the bar counter, splashed it liberally in a Riedel glass, then topped it with a thin layer of cranberry juice. Maybe a drink would help her feel better. She took an unhappy sip and scanned the room.
Which was when she saw him—all five feet, ten inches of tall, honey gold hair, glittering green-eyed goodness. He wore a dark blue overcoat and looked out of place in the overheated suite.
Serena held on to the granite bar for support. Around her L’École girls were passing around a joint and laughing. She felt like she was going to faint. She had to talk to him, but what if he didn’t want to talk to her? Or worse, what if he was just polite? What if he talked to her like she’d been his high school lab partner?
She drained the rest of her drink and spontaneously threw her arms around his back. “Happy New Year, Natie!” she yelled into his shoulder blades as if it were the old days, and she’d just seen him a couple hours ago, rather than a whole year. His body felt stronger than she’d remembered, and she could feel his taut muscles through his shirt.
Serena坐在吧台手中拿着一品Ketel，倒进敞口的Riedel玻璃杯，最上面一层薄薄的酸果蔓果汁。也许喝上一杯会让她感觉好一些吧，她心事重重地吸了一小口，扫视着整个房间
就在这个时候，她看到了他 - 180的身高，蜜糖金色的头发，漂亮深邃的绿色眼眸。他穿着一件深蓝色的外衣，在这个过于吵闹的地方望着窗外。
Serena撑着吧台，身边成群的L’École女孩走来走去，大声欢笑，让她觉得一阵眩晕。她必须要去跟他说话，可是如果他并不想理她该怎么办呢？或者，更糟糕的是，他应答她完全是出于礼貌？又或者他跟她说话有如与高中实验室的搭档寒暄而已？
Serena一口气喝光了杯中的饮料，不由自主的把胳膊搭在了他的背上，“新年快乐，Natie！”她在他的肩膀旁对着他大喊道，就好像以前，并且好久没见过了一样。他的身体比她记忆中的更加健壮，她甚至可以透过T-shirt感觉着他紧绷的肌肉。

“Serena,” Nate said dumbly, turning so his face was inches from hers. He could smell her familiar patchouli-infused essential oil scent, and at first he wondered if this was some very weird reaction to the pot he’d smoked earlier. Someb0dy at the party had had a bag of incredible Thai stick and had generously shared it with him.
“How are you?” he finally asked. It was a dumb and obvious question and not at all what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, that he still loved her, that Chips had died and he was high and didn’t even know what to do ab0ut it. He wanted to hold her and never leт go.
Serena shrugged and smiled. Her navy blue eyes looked far away. “I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m… okay,” he said, shifting from one Stan Smith sneaker to the other. Talk ab0ut the understatement of the year. He wasn’t, not at all. He was a fuсking mess. But right now, with Serena near him, he felt better than he had in a long time.
“Nathaniel fuсking Archibald!”
Nate whirled around. Towering ab0ve him was a guy with a familiar shock of reddish-blond hair. It was Jeremy Scott Tompkinson, one of his old St. Jude’s classmates. Jeremy had always been excessively skinny and only ab0ut five foot two, but he’d obviously had a late-adolescenт growth spurt in college. He was huge, massive! Jeremy was trailed by Charlie Dern and Anthony Avuldsen, who were wearing matching Hamilton College visors perched on the sides of their heads to complement their matching beer guts.
Nate held out a hand and Jeremy, Charlie, and Anthony all slapped it in turn, their customary salute. Charlie’s eyes bugged beneath his floppy bangs as he took in his old friend. “I thought you were in, like, the army.”
Close enough.
“Nah, I was in school,” Nate said. While he was excited to see his old St. Jude’s buddies, he didn’t really feel like playing catch-up. How could he explain ab0ut sailing the world, ab0ut Chips, ab0ut what he was up to now? They probably had no clue what Deep Springs was or what it was really ab0ut. But he knew Serena would get it. He suddenly wanted to be with Serena, alone.
“Serena，”Nate低声回应道，转过头，离她只有十几厘米，他闻着她身上熟悉的广藿香精油的味道，一开始他还怀疑这是他刚刚吸烟带来的特殊味道，之前有个人带了一袋子非常棒的泰国香烟，并且慷慨的和他分享。
“你最近好么？”他终于打破了沉默，这是一个无比无聊，显而易见，并且根本不是他真正想要知道的问题。他想要向她说之前对不起，想要告诉她他依然爱着她，他想要拥着她再也不放开。
Serena耸耸肩，微笑着看着她，蔚蓝的双眼深不见底，“我挺好的，你呢？”
“我。。。还可以，”他说，他换了一条腿翘起来，轻描淡写的讲述着过去的一年。他不好，一点都不好，所有的所有都糟到家了，可是，此刻，有Serena在她身边，他好久没有感觉这样舒服过了。
“这不是该死的Nathaniel Archibald嘛！”
Nate转过身，正上方那个有着血红色头发的男人站在那里，那是Jeremy Scott Tompkinson，他在St.Jude时的同学。Jeremy一直都是一个瘦到皮包骨，并且只有150的身高，但是很明显，上大学以后他又发育了一次，现在的他又高又壮！跟在他身后的是Charlie Dern和Anthony Avuldsen，戴着Hamilton大学的护目镜，两个人头靠在一起，手中的啤酒杯遥相呼应。
Nate伸出手依次与Jeremy，Charlie和Anthony击掌，那是他们长久以来的习惯。Jeremy睁大眼睛，透过长刘海看着他的老朋友，“我以为，你去当兵了。”
很接近的答案。
“没有，我在上学。”Nate回答道，他很开心遇到昔日在St.Jude的伙伴们，可是他并不想要真的分享着一年来的事情，他该怎么解释航海的事情？他们大概完全无法了解他口中的Deep Springs是个什么东西。不过他知道，Serena可以明白他。他总是想和Serena在一起，单独的。

跟随虫虫飘回来..继续慢慢看..慢慢来洗涤受创严重的心灵..谢谢

新年快乐，大家~~   
再过一个小时就可以下班了~~吃小笼包去~~~~


虫虫新年快乐啊，身体健康最重要。